Alien Spouse

Office Space.

Today was very active.  One great thing about Spring Break is that with no students on campus there is a lot less foot traffic and phone calls to the office.

So we went to Staples and bought office supplies!  Yay!

I got a new chair, a set of shelves, an index card box and some jazzy binder clips for myself; a clock with multiple time zones and a red Swingline stapler for the Director; a cordless phone for Angela and Zack chose some ethernet cables for himself.  It was very fun.

I put together the chair and shelves by myself, and I took before-and-after photos of the chair.  The before picture is time stamped 3.39pm and the after picture is time stamped 4.08pm.  That's right I put that chair together in just under 30 minutes.

Then I built the shelves and put stuff on them before 5pm.  I am a flat pack construction demon.

My office looks so efficient now.  Of course now I have to actually get some work done in it.

Spring Break at Home.

Doc C is away this week, because he's taken a group of his students to New York for spring break.  Yeah I didn't want to go, because you know NYC is just too much fun really and who would want to visit all of those art galleries and museums?  Or be forced to eat delicious food? Or perhaps do a little light shopping?

So instead I'm staying at home to spend some quality time with the cats, and I'm getting lifts to-and-from work all week.  My manager is picking me up tomorrow morning, which has the potential to be the best excuse for being late ever.

Today was sort of weird, because I had a doctor's appointment and my plan was just to call for a cab to pick me up from the surgery.  The receptionists got out the yellow pages for me, and we started making some calls.  Staggeringly the only taxi firm that actually answered wasn't available for a couple of hours, and every other number we tried either went to voicemail or was disconnected.  The nurses on reception were equally surprised, but we all agreed that we didn't want to call "Taxis by Bubba".  In the end I called back to the office, and asked the last person there to come and get me.

Now that would never happen in New York.  Never.

Dr. Mario Phd.

Today my friend Zack was preparing to teach a class, and he needed someone to help him test the tech.  So I asked Doc C, because the tech in question was a Nintendo NES and a cartload of cartridges.  Zack's co-teaching a class on games, so it's important for the students to get a thorough grounding in the classics.

Zack had set up the NES in one of the classrooms at the end of the hall from my office, and they both went scampering off to play check that everything was really working properly in two-player mode.  Yes, I was working on budgets to the soundtrack of 8-Bit music.

Doc thought the technical consultation took fifteen minutes, but it was actually an hour and a half.

My First Mac.

When I got into work today there was a large cardboard box on the sofa in my office.  Inside it was a new Mac.

It's just gorgeous.  It's got a lovely big clear screen, a compact keyboard that is really nice to type with and a wireless mouse.  The mouse is a white glass lozenge, and the whole top of it is touch sensitive, it is SO cool.  AND the selection of pre-loaded wallpapers included Edward Hopper's "Nighthawks", which I love (Mum and I went to the Hopper exhibition at the Tate Modern a few years ago.  It was beautiful, and I bought one of those 3D cardboard viewers of Nighthawks in the gift shop).  How cool is that?  PCs always have pretty pictures of flowers or fields but Macs go straight to a classic of film noir influenced modern art.

I'm still making friends with my Mac and I'm sure there I've only scratched the surface, but already I feel very comfortable with it.

It's Sunday Already?

The event yesterday seemed to go reasonably well, and I actually lasted the whole day! 8 to 5! I feel like death today, but I can just about do it!  This means I am well on the way to being able to work a full week, and then I'll be back en route on a full paycheck and perhaps even start accumulating some leave time!  So then I can go and see my Mum!  Yay!  So you see working a Saturday event was actually a good thing!

Of course the main way I kept going was drinking coffee, and eating way too much sugar.  I tried to be good, and I'd made sure there was a good selection of semi-healthy food on offer too, but somehow those peppermint patties just kept unwrapping themselves and jumping into my mouth.  Don't you hate when that happens?

Not Really Friday.

  You know having to work an event that starts early on a Saturday totally takes the shine off a Friday evening.

Plus I have yet to decide what I'm going to wear, it needs to be fairly formal office wear but I'd like to come up with something with a bit of élan to it.  Fairly easy, except it would also be nice if it were comfortable as well because I will almost certainly be running around a lot and quite possibly shifting furniture.  I always have to factor in the distinct possibility of shifting furniture on the day of an event, it's just a given.

So far, I'm thinking my brown DMs, and then either; my green-pink-and-purple floral skirt and my pink wrap cardigan, or my khaki green print skirt with a black top. 

Either of those outfits would say professional yet fun, right?

But if I'm working on a Saturday then the Doc Martens have to be incorporated one way or another.  I love those boots.

more snow. Let's Talk Food Instead!

I spent one whole hour in the office today, before the snow sent me home again.  Actually, if it had been up to me, I'd probably not even have got in the car; but Doc C was a man on a mission, and that mission was to teach his three o'clock class.

Before we left I checked the university's website which said classes before ten were canceled, but proceeding as scheduled after that.  By the time we got into the office, about half an hour later, the whole day had been canceled.  I called Doc and gave him the happy news.  He was not amused.

Ah well, I did quite well out of it all, carbs wise.  I got a small soy latte and a scone on our way into the office, and the lovely Sybil (who is temping in the office for a few weeks whilst I'm still at half-strength from the Mono) had baked a butter pecan cake.  Yum!

The food theme carried on, because I've spent the afternoon curled up on the sofa, watching "Cold Case" (I cannot believe that might not be renewed next season, I adore the retro crime scene flashbacks and soundtracks they use) and started planning the refreshments for a couple of events coming up.  I'm seriously considering ordering a pseudo-wedding cake for the larger event, but with a graduation medal motif rather than roses.  For some reason I was very nervous about planning big events when I first started this job, but now it's one of my favourite tasks.

The Most Mondayish Monday Ever.

This morning started with what our local weather guru was referring to as a "Saskatchewan Screamer", which in our neck of the woods was a high wind with powder snow.  Lovely.  Apparently it's perfect for skiing in, but it's not so much fun to be walking around in, and when Doc eventually found a parking space it was less of a space and more of a snow bank.  Which he had to dig the Mini out of later.

Anyway...

When we had battled our way through it to the office, things just got better.  My office was in total chaos, with two of the University's handy-men taking my desk to pieces.  They had to do this to get to the leak that had sprung in the radiator, which was covered by my desk.  So I spent the whole day perched on the work surface in the work-study room, I wasn't able to access my calendar, or print anything and my e-mail was patchy.  It was so frustrating!

The good news is that it did prove that the behemoth desk can be dismantled into three separate pieces, which gives me a lot more flexibility with the layout of my office.  As soon as the carpet dries out, I'll try out some new furniture configurations, whilst trying fervently to ignore the smell of damp ten-year-old office carpeting.

Rock - Hard Place.

We have been anticipating a major blizzard all day, and I'm kind of exhausted by it now.  It's just been hanging over the whole day, so I just want it to start already.

To be honest, I want to know is whether I'm going to be able to get into work tomorrow, or if I can turn off my alarms and sleep in.  On the one hand the sleep would be nice; and on the other, when I went to the bakery this afternoon, they had already sold out of all of this week's special bread (a Chocolate Cherry Sourdough twisted with White Chocolate Baguette) and I really want some.

You can see my dilemma I'm sure.

Listed

My phone just rang and it was a number I didn't recognise, so I muted the TV before answering.  It turned out to be a professor who taught a course for us last semester.  Umm... Hi..?

He wanted to know where to send some paperwork, that's about, oh, a month overdue now.  So I gave him the department it needed to go, and spelled the name of the woman who would be processing it (after she contacts me to ask why it's so late, and I have to explain that this man with a freaking Phd couldn't sign a piece of paper and put it in the internal mail to her for over a month).  That was all he needed, so he thanked me, apologised for bothering me outside of work hours and rang off.

It only occurred to me a few minutes after the call to wonder where the hell he got my number from.  I don't tend to give my mobile phone number out at work, because then people bother me at home about stuff that could easily have waited until the next business day.  Then a nasty thought struck me: The university's on-line directory.

So I looked myself up, and there is both my office extension number AND personal phone number.  Oh My God.  I don't want my phone number to be that easy to find on-line, thank you very much, and I have no idea how to go about taking it off.  I've tried logging on to the self-service portal to mark it as unlisted, nothing happened. Then I tried just deleting it from my profile, and it's STILL on the directory. 

Ahhh!

Do Not Want!

Confidence, Success and Positivity.

It's Friday!  Friday!!!  And this week I have discovered this really great stuff, which is called coffee. Have you heard of it?  It's amazing!  I drink a cup of it, and then I'm able to actually to get some work done.  The only thing is that at the end of the day I was totally exhausted, so I had a nap the minute I hit the sofa, but it really helped me to combat the Mono for the working day.

One of my favourite nap accessories is my iPod, of course, and, yes, there is an app for that.  I really love a series of apps by Andrew Johnson (a Relaxation Coach, Clinical Hypnotherapist, EFT therapist and Reiki Teacher), who is based in Ayrshire, Scotland.  So when I'm about to have a nap, I tell Doc C I'm going to listen to the Nice Scottish Man for a bit. 

I started off with the Success app, and then snapped up Confidence and Positivity when they were on special offer.  So I spent about $5 altogether, which I think is a bargain.

Aren't those little icon guys sweet?  All three of these start with Andrew talking you through a relaxation exercise, and then it moves onto positive affirmations.  I think.  I am usually soundly asleep before that part starts, but apparently my unconscious mind is still soaking all of that up. 

I wish these came in a cat format, because Nancy could really use some relaxation training.

 

First Ice Storm of 2010.

We got out of work early today because another ice storm has been silently encasing the town.  So now Doc and I are at home, wearing multiple layers, covered in fleece blankets and using the cats to keep our feet warm.

I really hope this storm doesn't knock out our power again.  Thursday night is my weekly Tim Gunn fix.

Ice Ice Baby!

I know I was a bit whingy about the weather and being back at work, but just before I left the house today a phone call from my manager made up for that.  She has declared a Snow Day!  Well, technically, it's the ice on the roads and the snow drifts in the car parks that are the problem; point being it is too cold to work today.

So I'm snuggled up with an extremely happy Edith, and I may just have a morning nap AS WELL as an afternoon nap.

A Splash of Colour.

I am back in the office after my Christmas break, and I must admit to having that Monday morning feeling when I woke up today.

So, here is a photo I took in Boston of a gorgeous bunch of balloons in a wintery tree.

It just seemed apt somehow.

Christmas Snow Day

It started snowing at 8:06 this morning, and it hasn't stopped since; so there's now well over a foot of snow on the ground. Doc and I left work early because we knew the roads were going to get bad  (AND the heat had been turned off in my building, and if turning the heat off during a snowstorm doesn't say the management think you should go home now, well, I don't know what does) but we still had to change our usual route to get to our house because we couldn't get up one particularly hill.  There was a tense moment when we wondered if the other road would actually be any better, but the little car got us home!  Yay!

Then I called my Mum to wish her a happy birthday before settling down to one of the best naps ever, ever, ever.  It was like three hours of comfy dozy goodness.

Now I'm sitting drinking ovaltine with a healthy slug of brandy in it, and eating a slice of fresh stollen from our favourite bakery.

The Christmas holidays are officially here.

Academia Zombie Chic.

One of the best parts about working at a University is the dress code of "smart office wear" is very ambiguous. I'm not able to get away with Threadless T-shirts, but apart from that it's fairly easy to have some fun with my wardrobe.

For example, I felt the combination of a neckerchief with a cardigan was looking a bit twee, so I pinned my faux-silk scarf with a badge that said "I Love Brains" with a little cartoon brain in the middle (Nut and Bee, of course!).  It was mainly because the colours worked well with the pattern on the scarf, but also because I like zombies.

My manager spotted the badge the moment I walked in the door, and said "You should give that to me!", because she's a neuro-scientist.  Well, this brain is mine; but I may have to order more Nut and Bee goodies, so I'll probably get one for her then.

Gingerbread Jen.

How much do you love it when you have colleagues at the office who unexpectedly bake gingerbread people and write everyone's names on in icing?  Oh, and there were red and green gumdrops on the plate too.

I especially love that my name (Yes, I'm "Jennifer" in the office) was hyphenated on mine, and she's got cute bunches (American Translation: Pigtails).

Edith's Entrepreneurial Streak.

As a special treat for having been so good for a whole week (!), Edith got to play in the big cardboard box.

We played jump-into-the-box, jump-out-of-the-box, attack-things-on-top-of-the-box, Jack-Nicholson-in-The-Shining-in-the-box, and, finally, lemonade stand.

Except, of course, Edith had her own ideas on what business she wanted to open.  She's yet to make any money.

New Nap Routine.

I've got into this Mono routine of going into work for a few hours in the morning, and then come home at lunchtime, so I could sleep on the sofa for the afternoon. Today my manager suggested that I try going to Doc's office and having a nap at 11 to see if that helped me to work for longer.

Doc was teaching when I got there (he left the door unlocked for me) so I just listened to a relaxation app on my iPod, made a nest on the sofa in Doc's office and slept for 3 hours.  I'd even found a fleecy blanket in my office to take with me, and Doc didn't even ask me about where I'd got that from.  Clearly he's just used to my ability to magically producing soft furnishings.  The only things missing from my usual nap set up were a police procedural to watch when I woke up and a fluffy cat purring away on top of the blanket.

Oh, what a world! What a world!

Today has not been good, not for any reasons that I couldn't have seen coming; but I was quite happy with my blinkers on pretending not to notice. Suffice to say this whole Mono thing is just totally messing all sorts of things up, and there is not a damned thing I can do about it.  

La lalalalalalala LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU!

So my day consisted of going to work, where I sat at my desk and cried and cried and cried until Doc swooped in to give me a big hug and take me home.  Then I climbed into bed, drank a huge cup of tea, spoke to my Mum (Love you Mum!) and settled down to sleep with both cats purring away on me.

When I woke up Doc put the DVD of "The Wizard of Oz" on, which isn't honestly my favourite Judy Garland film, but sometimes it's really soothing to see things go from black-and-white to Technicolor, with some over the top musical numbers.

Do NOT Drink Me.

I bought this water-bottle a few weeks ago, as it happens it was just a few days before I caught Mono.  At the time I bought it simply because I love my skull-and-crossbones stuff.

The timing is somewhat ironic, as it's now the bottle I'm using at work, because of course, it is a Plague Bottle that is covered with Mono Lurgey (American Translation: Cooties) now.

Workin' 10:30 to 1 - What a Way to Make a Livin'!

Today I went into work today for three hours, and I had forgotten how hectic it can be.  On top of the backlog of stuff for me to do, my computer was running incredibly slowly, wouldn't open a whole bunch of documents and, to top it all off, the dreaded Blue Screen of Death popped up twice, so I had to hard re-boot.  I was totally exhausted by the time I got home, and curled up on the sofa for a couple of hours.

The thing with Mono is that it can take a really long time to be fully recovered, and I've already been off for four weeks.  So, whilst everyone in the office has been really supportive and understanding, I can't help but feel they want me to be back to my normal energy levels already.  I understand that, not least because I would really like to be all better again, but it will take as long as it takes!  Stupid virus!

The hours I'm going in this week are structured around Doc C's teaching schedule, so tomorrow I'm going to try and go in for 6 hours, 11 to 5.  My back up plan is to sneak off to Doc's office to lie down if I really need to.

R and R and Cookies.

I didn't go into the office as planned today, because I just could not wake up this morning, annoyingly once I was awake I felt fine.  So I called my doctor's surgery to ask if that was typical for Mono, and it pretty much is, essentially you just have to judge for yourself how much rest you need and try not to over do it.  It's most annoying, I prefer to feel either consistently rancid or consistently well, at least I know where I stand then.  As I feel pretty well today, I'm planning to go in to the office tomorrow and Friday, to try and get back into the swing of things gradually.

The other question I had for the doctor was how contagious I am still, fortunately I can safely bake cookies without worrying about giving Mono to all of the students, so I'm going to make spiced Halloween cookies for the Dorm of Doom tomorrow night.  I'm delighted to have a good excuse to make several batches of skulls and tombstones!

Plan for the week.

This week we are experimenting with me going into work for a few hours, because oddly I'm supposed to actually do something to get paid each month.  Outrageous, isn't it? So the plan is that I ease myself back in by going in for three hours with Doc when he has his office hours on Monday, Wednesday and Friday, then I come home to nap.  If that works well, then I'll try half-days next week, and work up to a whole day with the odd catnap. 

Monday went well.  I didn't tell anyone to expect me, because where would the fun in that be? I knew I had to process the departmental credit cards to meet the deadline, so I just focused on getting that done.  Everyone was rally sweet to meet from a nice safe distance, I'm not even joking; one faculty member came in to ask me to print something for him and when he commented that I had been away, I explained that I had Mono.  He took a stride backwards, and I'm surprised he didn't cross himself.  It was so funny!

By the end of my three hours, I was really tired.  So I came home and slept on the sofa, but I'd forgotten just how noisy Doc C can be sometimes, he didn't mean to be but just everything he wanted to do turned out to be loud, and I so only napped for about an hour.  This turned out to be a mistake.  I woke up at 4am just aching all over, and felt awful until I took some pain killers, then I slept pretty much all of today, and now I feel human again, but I think I've learnt my lesson.

Tonight I'm going to take some Tylenol PM to make sure I sleep through the night; tomorrow I'll see how I'm feeling when I wake up. but hopefully I can go in for my scheduled three hours.  Then I am coming home, putting in ear plugs and sleeping.

A Big Bowl of Halloween

Doc C took me into the office for a couple of hours today, and then I came home to sleep whilst he went food shopping.  Before he left I said something about maybe getting some Halloween sweets, and when he came back he had a whole carrier bag full.  I laughed, and told him I hadn't meant him to go quite that crazy, and he was all "What? This is nothing, this is the bare minimum!" and then ate 14 Almond Joys.*

As was clearly required if only for blog posting purposes, I immediately had to take some photos, so I set the bowl up next to my huge volume of Poe and a nice candle-in-a-storm-lantern.  As you will probably observe my career in product placement is already over before it had any opportunity to begin; almost all of the logos in this picture are either upside down or partially obscured.

_{* Footnote regarding Chocolate for British Readers:}

_{Almond Joy are like Bounty bars, but with an almond perched on top of the coconut.  They're nice!  If you really want to approximate a Bounty whilst here, then you need to look for Mounds; which ironically do not have as much of a mound because they don't have the almond on top.  American chocolate naming conventions are most peculiar.  For example what we would think of as a Milky Way is called a Three Musketeers over here, and how does that make any sense at all?  It only has TWO components - The fluffy stuff in the middle and the chocolate, so where does the third Musketeer come into it?  Has he nipped out for a bit?  Oh, and I have no idea what an American Milky Way is like, but I am pleased to say that Kitkats are exactly the same over here, which is very reassuring.  Actually the thing I'm most surprised to be unable to find here is a Dime bar, I mean how American sounding a product is that?  The closest I've found is a Heath Bar, but it's not quite the same texture of brittle toffee and the chocolate also needs some work in my opinion.}

The Many Many Ways in Which Mono Sucks. And One Silver Lining.

I think I'm going to have to change my Halloween costume plans, because there is just no way that I can see myself making the Bride of Frankenstein wig in time.  It's theoretically possible, but I really think it's just too ambitious at the moment.  Mono sucks all of the energy out of me, and I'm getting really frustrated with the daftest things.  We went to KMart and bought a cheesy wig for Doc's brain slug to nest in, and it took me at least an hour to get the slug sewn on.  It just wouldn't sit in the right place and look in the right direction, I had to keep taking it back off and starting again, and I got SO grumpy about it.  Poor Doc offered to help by wearing the wig whilst I sewed the slug on, and I was extremely sarcastic about that suggestion, which in retrospect was very unfair of me.  Although I still can't quite see how he thought that would work... Anyway...

This Mono thing is just ridiculous. Realistically I'm going to be convalescing for at least another two weeks, I hope that's a pessimistic estimate but let's take that as our working model. This means I have to make some decisions about work, as well as my other commitments and plans.  Work is actually ok-ish, in that my manager is being great about the whole thing and insisting I look after myself, but I want to just have a little chat with HR to see how the land lies on this sort of illness.  I want to know how it's going to affect my annual leave (I will be absolutely bloody furious if I can't go home for Christmas because of this) and if there are any problems I haven't even thought of.

As for my classes the main issue is that they are in the evening, so that's an extra three hours at the end of my working day on Monday and Wednesday and that was tiring even before I had Mono.  I can see myself managing to attend the classes if I rest all day by not going into work, but that seems really cheeky to me; particularly as the tuition is being waived by the University because I'm a staff member.  It's a conundrum.

Finally Doc has a conference in Denver next week, and I am supposed to be going with him.  I've been looking forward to it for ages now, and we've already booked our flight and hotel, but I'm just not sure traveling is the best idea.  Once I get there, I think I'll be fine; I'll send Doc out for food and then just stay in the hotel room watching cartoons and sleeping, the only difference will be I won't have cats walking across my tender spleen at 6 in the morning.  On the one hand, I know the travel itself will be exhausting; but on the other hand Denver has a branch of Lush and I'm fairly sure the retail therapy of stocking up on moisturiser and fabulous smelling soap would be a big help.

I did consider putting another vote up in this post, so that I could canvas for your opinions on these issues because when I'm ill I prefer to abdicate decision making responsibility to someone else, but I know I can't do that.  Apparently I'm an adult now, and that means making my own mind up about these situations.  sigh.

Oh, the one good thing is that I have lost more weight, despite the whole lying around and not going to the gym aspect of the illness.  Don't worry!  I'm not doing it on purpose, and I'm trying to make sure I eat well, but if not having much of an appetite and fighting a virus ends up burning off some fat, well let's not look that gift horse in the mouth.

I Dream of Sleeping.

Still no news about my blood tests, but I can report that I was at work for a grand total of two and a half hours yesterday.  This was just enough time for four colleagues and two students (one graduate, one undergrad) to tell me I looked terrible.  Mainly they thought I looked pale, which considering I am a blonde who avoids the sun isn't exactly news, but apparently I was even paler than I usually am. Imagine, I must have bee practically translucent.  Doc brought me home, and I napped for a couple of hours, before setting up my work computer laptop so I can access most of the software I need to do some work from home.

Not exactly a strenuous day, but I was so tired by the time I went to bed that night I actually dreamt about settling down to go to sleep.  It's quite something when even your sub-conscious is nagging you about accepting you need to get some more rest.

Apart from making sure I can keep my job, I'm also trying to keep up with my class work.  I have a 2-to-3 page paper to write, which is a close reading of a quote from "Frankenstein".  I've chosen the description of a painting in the Frankenstein library, which is only two sentences in the seventh chapter (page 76 for those of you with the Bedford/St. Martins 2nd edition), but I think it explores a lot of themes of the novel as well as indicating a much darker possible reading of the romantic relationships within the text.  It sounds quite good in theory, doesn't it?  The problem is that it seems to be coming out like that weird post I wrote the other day, I just can't seem to articulate my analysis clearly or, more to the point, provide solid textual evidence.  I am going to go through an look up each and every word in the OED and hope that gives me something to hang the whole essay on.  Keep your fingers crossed.

I Fully Intend to Leave The Sofa - Tomorrow.

Ok, so I didn't physically you know go to the actual office today, but I did read all my unread e-mail and reply to anything I needed to. Then I had a nap for two hours.

I'm still exhausted; and achey; and my ears are ringing.  It is tedious.

Tomorrow I have got to go into work, for the morning at least.  There is stuff that I need to do, damn it!  Plus I have my sick leave balance is now in the negative again, and staying off work any longer is going to get expensive.

Sunday Task List

I have got so much reading still to do for my class tomorrow, and I want to make cookies, and I should really clean the bathroom, and Nancy needs another pill, and I have got to do some laundry, and the living room could do with being tidied, and when was the last time I brushed Edith?

I may have to have a nap.  There mere thought of all of that is exhausting.

Picnic Post Mortem

The picnic went well, but it's surprising how exhausting it is standing around watching 400 people eating fried chicken and wondering why no-one seems to like the hot-dogs.  I did eat a fairly nice black bean burger, some crisps and a brownie, with the sweetest lemonade I have ever drunk.  Ever.

When organising a meal for 400 odd people the thing is that you have to order the food a few weeks in advance and confirm final numbers at least three days in advance.  This is why I sent out a reminder e-mail the Monday before, because getting a prompt response to my invitation was key. So you can imagine that when,  in the words of Cher Horowitz,  "...people came that, like, did not R.S.V.P. So I was, like, totally buggin'."

I shouldn't have worried, because for every student that turned up unannounced with their family, there was another that hadn't put in an appearance.  So it was all fine really, we had enough food, and the only things we ran out of were rice crispie treats and iced tea.  It could have been worse.

Umbrellas and Indoor Picnics.

I didn't have unsettling dreams about the North Pole or re-animated corpses, but I did spend an inordinate amount of dream time looking for an umbrella with a green handle and a cream canopy with a photo of something glamorous printed on it.  It was quite a specific dream, in that the umbrella was mine and I knew I'd left somewhere at a sort of nightclub-slash-health-spa, which was haunted, naturally.  I found lots of other umbrellas, but I specifically wanted mine so I just kept searching all night.  This may well have something to do with the event I'll be working today.

It's a picnic for 450 people that I organised, and originally intended to host on the lawn outside our dorm building, but then had to move it to an indoor location because of the high probability of rain.  Except the indoor location got the date for the booking wrong, and called me last weekend asking we were.  So I'm a bit nervous.  What with the Chancellor of the University coming to this event, and last week having been just so fabulous.  Oh, and I have to wear the department's logo on a T-shirt too, so there will be no chance of flying under the radar at all.

Grrh. Arrgh.

Ugh! What a day.  Nothing major happened, but so many little piddly annoyances bombarded me that by two pm this afternoon I was just weepy with irritation.

I am so glad that Doc recently got a second-hand mini fridge for his office.  It's not a mini bar unfortunately, so no lunch time G&Ts for me, but it does have fresh milk.  So today he made me a proper cup of PG Tips tea with milk in it.  That made everything so much better.

Well that, a mini caramel nut brownie (only 80 calories!) and a Doc C pep-talk.

Actually, and this is completely off topic but it does fall under the category of annoyances and clearly I'm in the mood to vent today, I cannot BELIEVE that there won't be any more "Defying Gravity" screened in the foreseeable future.  I don't mean that they won't be made, because they've already been filmed, it's just they are being shelved mid-run.

What the hell does Ron Livingstone have to do here people?  Why can't we just let him be a star already?  He's a really good actor!  And they just opened Pod Four, but we didn't get to see inside, so what is in Pod Four?  And what was Nadia's back story?  And would Zoe and Donner ever have an actual, you know, conversation about anything?  And who are those kids that are creeping Eve out?  And Fractal Tomato Plants?  I don;t get to see where this is going?  Really?

Suffice to say: Grrrh.

Mock GRE.

I'm on day seven of a 12 day stretch of being at work, or on campus for some reason, every single day.  Is it a coincidence that is has also been raining, well I say raining but only because I'm fairly sure "monsooning" isn't an actual word, for all of that time?  Well, yes it is a coincidence, but it's one of those damn annoying ones it is hard not to take personally.  If I have to be constantly hanging around work, I'd at least like my feet to be dry whilst I'm there.

Anyway...

Today's trip to campus was so I could take a practice GRE test.  I have to take an actual GRE before the end of the year to be able to complete my application for my MA; this is because, at the moment, I'm masquerading as a non-degree seeking student. Once I've taken the GRE I can easily convert my status to degree seeking, and the hours I've taken this semester will count.  Simple, right?

However, we all know that exams are the stuff of classic anxiety dreams for a reason, and so I took a trial run in the hopes that it will make the actual exam less intimidating.  There are several sections to the real GRE, and it's a computer based test so it actually adjusts the difficulty of the test according to how well you are doing. The practice test today was in a classroom with exam booklets and HB pencils, and just covered the quantitative (Maths) and verbal (English) sections. 

The maths doesn't really make any difference for me, because I already know that the English department won't even look at that; but I still have to sit the thing and personal pride dictates that I don't totally fail it.  There is, however, the small matter of my not having had a maths class since I took my GCSEs sixteen years ago, and the differences in the focus of the British educational system as opposed to the American educational system, so several of the questions on the GRE were just totally unintelligible to me.  When I knew I didn't have a hope in hell of working the answer out I just guessed, but I did at least try with the all of the others.

The English was a much friendlier paper.  The questions were oddly phrased I thought, but I felt as though I understood what they wanted from me, and I was much happier with that section.

The main thing that struck me today was how no matter what age you are or the type of exam you are taking, being in a classroom where an exam is being given never changes.  It's at once too quiet and not quiet enough, I could hear every sniff of the fellow students, the air conditioning that I wouldn't even notice usually seemed deafening and when two girls started to whisper to each other it was really annoying. Plus it was bloody cold in there, why is it so hard to get an exam room to a sensible temperature?

I get my results back on Tuesday, not that they matter in any real sense, but it will give me an idea of how much work I need to do to get a good enough score on the real thing.

A Dog-Earred (Former) Bookseller.

How do I know it's been years since I earnt my living by standing behind the counter of a bookshop all day?  Well, today I helped to man my department's stand at the University's Open House, which meant I was standing for four hours talking to prospective students, when I got home I had to nap for a good hour or two and now my legs feel like they want to fall off. 

Four hours is nothing to a seasoned bookseller at the peak of their selling capabilities, so clearly I'm seriously out of condition!  To think I used to flog books all day, then go clubbing and get up for the early shift and do it all over again is just exhausting.  Where did I get the energy from?

Lost Logan.

Yesterday the new Graduate Assistant and one of our Work Study Students were in the work room next to my office, and I could hear them whispering and giggling for ages.  I don't know about you, but that sort of thing always makes me feel paranoid.

Then they came into my office and asked if I wanted to be part of their conspiracy, but I had to say yes or no before they would tell me what it was.

Essentially they had hatched a plot to kidnap the Wolverine figurine from Zack, the department's Tech Specialist / Advisor / Assistant Lecturer / Photographer / Videographer / Webmaster / Housing Liason.

I let them do it, because they were so hyped up by then it would have taken the X-Men to stop them.  The thing is though that I really don't like practical jokes, so I made sure Wolverine was put somewhere safe (on top of the stationary cupboard) and when Zack hadn't noticed by lunch time today, I cracked and dropped a hint that he might not be noticing something.

He worked out that Wolverine was missing, and found him almost immediately after that.  The students had put a Post-It on Logan, that said "Want a Muffin?" because Zack had offered us all a home-made mini-muffin yesterday.

The plan right now is that Zack is going to put Wolverine back on top of the stationary cupboard, but change the Post-It note.  He just hasn't worked out what it's going to say yet.

Work Study.

Week three of my college classes and I'm still not 100% on top of all the reading I need to do, I am getting through most of it somehow but I don't feel like  it's digested properly.  I feel like there is a chapter or two stuck in my throat.

I was talking to Doc C about this problem of working a 40 hour week and studying for two MA classes a semester, because that is a lot of work, and I mainly just wanted him to sympathise.  Naturally, and if you've read the blurb on the back of "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" you'll know this, he responded by trying to come up with a solution.  He began recounting anecdotal instances of academic colleagues getting up at 6 so they can read for two hours, then go to the gym at 8, then reading for another 2 hours before teaching a class. The problem being, I already do get up at around 6 and I have to be at work by 8:30, so the idea of having 4 hours of reading time every morning is just so luxurious as to be laughable.  And not helpful.  I may have snapped a little tiny bit, before remembering who would be nipping out to buy me a burrito so I could have my dinner before going to the class.

Having considered the matter further, there is really only one logical solution.  The deal with the University is that they pay for three classes a year and I get time out of my working week to attend those  classes.  As it happens that both of mine are in the evenings, it's absolutely necessary for me to re-appropriate that time for research and reading.

So if you walk past my office and you see me reading a book, no I am not relaxing with chick-lit (as if!) and yes, I have finished that paper work you wanted.  I just also have a ton of homework to get through and I am loving it!

Lunch Accessory.

During the week I have a routine in the morning -

1. Turn off my alarm clock
2. Snooze for 10 minutes
3. Turn off my iPod Touch alarm, and then get up
4. Feed the cats
5. Scoop litter
6. Get washed and dressed
7. Eat breakfast
8. Pack lunch
9. Put on my shoes
10. Remind the cats not to destroy the house
11. Leave for work with Doc C

I'm on auto-pilot for most of that routine, which is a particularly excellent thing around step 5, I simply require everything to work properly so I don't have to think about any of the individual steps. Mostly I've got everything well organised, but packing my lunch was still slightly niggling.

Food fitting neatly into containers for storage is very pleasing to me, which there's no need to go on about again here, but the difficulty is then transportation. Finding a suitable lunch box in my collection of Lock and Locks is easy, finding a bag to then carry that box in is more problematic.  Last year I bought a small cheap cooler bag, but it's dimensions are best suited to holding a six pack  of coke, which turns out to be oddly inconvenient for actual food storage. This will sound daft, but it was increasingly annoying trying to fit my lunch into a container that just could not comfortably accommodate, say, a sandwich, an apple and a drink.  After several months it occurred to me that starting the day with irritation, however minor, is not good.

So last pay-day I treated myself to an "Extra Relish Lunch Tote" from Built:NY.  It's only slightly bigger than the cooler, but it's a much better design, and it's made from neoprene (the fabric wetsuits and dubiously winning "Project Runway" dresses are made from), so it's a bit stretchy.  That slight expandability means I can fit all of my lunch, snacks and water for the day in there, it's like Mary Poppins' tiffin case.

Plus:

How gorgeous is that?

The coloured polka dots and the utility of it makes me just a touch happier during the working week. And who doesn't need that first thing in the morning?

Ducks in a Row.

Not only is today Friday, but I spent the day organising an event, which is probably one of my favourite responsibilities at work, then FedEx managed to actually deliver something to me and Doc picked up three of my text books from the PO Box.  Plus my department found like a bunch of money down the back of the sofa, I was able to leave the office early and Monday is a state holiday.

Right now Doc is baking a fresh loaf of bread because I fancied beans-on-toast for tea, there is a double bill of Mandy Patenkin era "Criminal Minds" on TV and I've got a photo lined up already for today's picture post.

All in all a bloody good day.

Really Important Bits of Paper.

This afternoon I hand-delivered documents to Human Resources and the Graduate School that confirm which courses I'll be taking for my MA and request a fee waiver because I'm a university staff member.  Yay for free university courses!

At the same time I also took the letter I recently received from the Immigration Service, which acknowledges receipt of my application for my visa to be extended.  This is because my initial visa was for two years, and it runs out at the end of October.  To extend my visa I had to apply 90 days before the expiration date, but not earlier than that.  The letter of receipt is important because it is also an extension of my visa.  The really crucial thing being that it allows me to work and travel for another year, whilst I'm waiting for another letter which will give me an appointment time for biometric processing.  I wanted to make sure that the University had copies of the letter in a couple of different places, so that there are no problems in October with either my paying gig or my continued education.

Funnily enough the graduate director for the English department sympathised with me this week about all of the red tape that I needed to deal with to get onto the English Lit MA program.  Really though that seemed like almost nothing compared with getting and maintaining my alien spouse visa.

Back to School: Weirdly Yay!

I LOVED my first Eng. Lit. MA class last night.  It was really interesting and my brain was engaged by the discussion.  I know this because when I woke up this morning it wasn't my usual internal monologue of "Ugh! Work!  I really don't feel like it today.  **yawn** " (Nothing against my office it's just I'd prefer to be independently wealthy and spend my days wafting between Cinemas, bookshops & Pilates classes, when I'm not lunching with friends or sleeping), instead I found that I was thinking "Ooh! I wonder if that could also be tied in to perceptions of class structure in 17th Century England?  That would be interesting to do some more research into, hmmm..."

It's just really nice to be learning stuff again, although now I've seen David's syllabus and grading policy I am more nervous about disappointing him.  I really need to buy all of the books on the reading list and just highlight the hell out of them.

Sunday in the Dining Hall with Freshmen.

I have to go into work this afternoon for an Orientation Dinner for the incoming Freshmen in my department.  On the one hand this meal is interfering with my current Amigurumi frenzy, and OMG I have got to get these finished for Row and Nairn's wedding which is in a couple of weeks now (side note: Squeeeeee!); but on the other hand I ordered the food for the dinner, so I know there is a really good salad and some pumpkin pie.  I also requested plenty of take-away containers, so that the students take food away with them and my department isn't forced to eat left over veggie lasagna for the next month.  It's actually a fairly good lasagna, but I really do not need that much bechamel sauce in my diet.

Anyway, apart from that I'm mostly crocheting like a lunatic to get these Amigurumis finished.  So far I haven't hit any major problems, apart from none of the damn yarn shops being open after 5pm on a weekday.  I mean what if there is a yarn related emergency people?  Won't somebody think of the crocheters?

I Survived Tonsillitis. Again.

Tonsillitis (American Translation: Strep Throat) is my Achille's heel and I suppose I've got quite blase about it now.  It's horrible knowing I'll be croaky and exhausted for about three days, but if I get plenty of sleep, drink lots of warm drinks and watch really formulaic detective shows, I'll feel better quickly.

Right on schedule I'm pretty much over my tonsillitis from last week, but one of the problems with having a boss with a medical degree is once I'm back in the office she can explain to me exactly what the problem was and why that can sometimes be really dangerous.  Now the BBC News website have piled on the historical paranoia with recent research which speculates that Mozart died of complications from a sore throat.  I mean, really!  That timing is uncanny!  I still have a slight sore throat and the usual post-illness ennui, so this is not what I need to be reading. 

Mind you I also just started "The Virgin Suicides" and we watched "The Wrestler" at the weekend, so right now what I really need is for cartoon kittens to be streamed into my cerebral cortex, preferably to the soundtrack of a new Ok Go album featuring guest appearances by Kylie Minogue, Tim Curry and Dusty Springfield.

That would be really rocking now I think of it.

Getting Better.

I sound less Dalek-like today, which is nice.  I even went in to the office for a whole hour, because I was convinced I had an urgent paper-work log-jam on my desk.  This turned out just to be my fevered imagination, so now I can relax over the weekend and get rid of this stupid sore throat.

Actually there has been some discussion of having my tonsils removed, but I'm wondering if really the main problem with my tonsils is that they are just too efficient.  I'd hate to chop off a body part that is doing precisely what it's meant to, that seems ungrateful doesn't it?

Another Brick in the Feature Wall.

Have I mentioned the incredibly retro feature wall in my office?

It's the only wall that doesn't have a window, and it was largely covered by my enormous desk until I reorganised the furniture. Now my desk faces this wall, and I'm thinking I need to put up some art because otherwise it's a bit oppressive in a Pink Floyd "Another Brick in the Wall" way, you know?

There already rawl plugs in some spots on the wall, so it wouldn't be too difficult.  Well, accept that all of the existing rawl plugs were seemingly put up at random, so none of them are central and all look to be at least a foot lower than I would want to display art at.  That sort of thing really bothers me.

Anyway, I'm thinking that I might get some new art from the University gallery, but what I would really like is to put up a "Keep Calm and Carry On" poster in a nice soothing colour-way.  Personally I'd like sea green with off white or, maybe, charcoal with duck egg blue.  Something soothing and reassuringly vague, in a nice British way.

Grasshopper.

I was at my desk this afternoon when I heard a distinct thud against the window, when I looked up I saw a huge grasshopper staring in at me.  I used Picnik to boost the colour and texture, so you can really see the... What the hell are those?  Scales?

Then, to give you an idea of how big, I took a photo with my hand in the shot.  You can clearly see that the thing is as big as my thumb.

It was sort of surprising that it didn't start talking to me frankly.

The Secret is to Keep Breathing.

I'm having one of those days where it just feels like I have to remember to breath.  I don't mean I'm ill or depressed, it's just I feel like I have to think about every single intake of breath.  It's such an effort to fill up my lungs.

I'm not really going anywhere with that, other than to ponder if it's because of the warm and humid weather or if it's the effects of a normal mid-week work day.  Actually I suspect if I drew a venn diagram it would be smack in the middle of the two.

Art Criticism in the Workplace.

On the office shredder I noticed three safety icons in a row. 

The ones at each side were fairly self explanatory, "Don't put more than eleven sheets of paper in at one time" (although that is such a fib, my extensive testing indicates that the shredder stalls if you try more than three pages at once) and "Don't put your hand in the shredder".

At first glance, I was somewhat confused by the central icon.

My thought process was something along the lines of "No Angel of the North"?  Eh?  I know not everyone likes Antony Gormley's work, but what has modern sculpture got to do with proper disposal of confidential documents?"

Of course, then I realised that I was looking at thing upside down, and it actually indicates "Do not shred your tie".

Which makes more sense I suppose.

Mardy Monday.

The only problem with really fun weekends is that the next working day is particularly painful.  I know I'm hardly being original here, but OMG I hate Mondays.

Monday 3rd August 2009

Dear Diary,

Went to the gym, this morning and did my cardio.

 My main task today has been continuing my forensic examination of the filing cabinets.  Today's best find was a selection of different colour samples of heavy paper for a brochure printed in 1998. 

Mid-morning I went with Doc to get a soy latte, and discovered today was Mayan Chocolate Brioche Day at the best bakery in town.  Much rejoicing.

At lunch time I took care of some errands; paid my credit card bill, booked a hair cut, all that kind of stuff. I also went to the USCIS website to see what I need to do to remove the temporary status from my visa, which is mandatory 90 days before the two year anniversary of being granted the temporary permanent resident card.  Was slightly disappointed to note there is a filing fee of several hundred dollars.

sigh.

Is it any wonder that Mondays get such bad reviews?  Excepting the brioche of course, because that was freakishly delicious.  Apart from enjoying that pastry goodness with a banana for lunch,  I must admit to having been fairly mardy pretty much from 8:30 this morning to 5:35 this evening, which was when my gorgeous husband whisked me away.

By the way, I really like the word "Mardy", but I realise it's probably not widely used in the US.  Actually, I did some research (I googled it - And I'm aware they hate people using the name as a verb like that, but I care not) I found it on the Urban Dictionary  .  Apparently the word is local to Derbyshire, which is where I went to University.  I'd like to suggest that more people add it to their vocabulary, along with the equally evocative "Numpty".

The Sleep Pattern of The Justice League. Probably.

Yesterday I found an interesting set of articles about sleep, in particular how to sleep well and get up early each morning.  I'm actually not bad at that, having commuted for years I am fully aware that I need to be asleep before 11 if I want to feel human at 5.30 the next morning, but it's nice to have some back up information on that sort of thing.

The blogger then went on to try experimenting with polyphasic sleep, which involves napping for twenty to thirty minutes six times a day.  It sounds fascinating!  I wouldn't want to try it because the adaptation period of the first week or so appears to be hellish, but after that it sounds like you free up bucket loads of time.  Could be useful when my carefully constructed alter-ego is finally a solid enough cover for me to take on my crime fighting persona.  I may have said too much...

Really though, I'm thinking Batman, Spiderman and Buffy etc., all must have developed polyphasic sleep patterns, because otherwise how could they patrol all night and also hold down a day job?  That has always bothered me, and now I have an actual real world explanation I feel a lot better about things.  I like my sci-fi fantasy to have some sort of connection to the reality, even if it's a tenuous one.

Even A Stopped Doc is Right Twice A Day.

Last night Edith seemed to be systematically working her way around our bedroom and experimenting with how she could make the most noise with what she could find on hand.  Paper is her instrument of choice, but she also very much enjoys pushing objects off furniture to make a worrying thump on the floor.  Nancy's current night time exercise is to jump onto Doc's pillow, walk over our heads then jump off the bed.  She'll then loop back round to Doc's side to repeat the loop.  Over and over and over... I eventually had had enough and shut the cats out of the bedroom, but essentially neither myself or Doc slept at all well last night.

This meant that after work today Doc and I were both exhausted.  I slept for about 90 minutes whilst Doc C went to the supermarket (how amazing is my husband?  I'll tell you, he went to the supermarket by himself and bought tampons for me.  I know that's a little TMI, but I'm still always ridiculously impressed when he does this), and he napped when he got back.

The Doc's was zizzing away quietly, until he suddenly jerked awake.

Doc: When are we leaving?

Jen: What?

Doc: When are we leaving?

Jen: To go where?

Doc:  To **unintelligible**

Jen: I'm sorry?...

Doc: To go to work!

Jen:  Oh... You do know it's 7.30 in the evening, not the morning?

Doc:  No, I totally forgot that.

And with that he relaxed, and went back to sleep. 

About ten minutes later, when Doc woke up properly, he told me that I could easily have convinced him it was Friday morning, and that we really needed to leave now.  Apparently he saw the clock said 7.30 and felt so tired that he was convinced it had to be the morning, the Doc is not a morning person.