Alien Spouse

Please Be Patient.

I read a few different blogs, and they have all gone through the occasional fallow period which is kind of annoying when you want something new to read every day.

One of the very few celebrity blogs I follow is Wil Wheaton's, and from time to time he will write a post that essentially says "I have something to blog about, but it's a secret for the time being, so I can't blog about it right now, ok?" 

Well, that's where I am right now - I have STUFF to blog about, but, for some quite excellent reasons, I'm reluctant to for a few weeks more and nothing else is really interesting me quite as much (Ooh, apart from "Mod Nation Racers" on the PS3. Doc C and I have been racing each other every evening this week and I even beat him once! Amazing!) 

So, um, stay tuned and I'll hopefully get more entertaining in a little while! Thanks!

House of Half Recovered.

Mum called today to check how we were because I hadn't updated the blog, sorry about that! I wasn't trying to leave you on a cliff-hanger there!

Anyway, Doc C went to hospital yesterday afternoon, after going white as a sheet and generally scaring the hell out of me. He'd already been given some tramadol, so he could still feel the pain but he just didn't really mind that much. This apparently was what stopped him from screaming, so I'm really quite grateful to the urgent care doctor he saw on Friday.

At the hospital he had a whole bunch of tests, and they eventually decided he must have already passed the stone, so he came home. Woot!

Meanwhile, I stayed at home, because my sinuses are still swollen and I'm breathing through my mouth, so it seemed like a bad idea to expose me to more germs. This meant I spent the afternoon watching a reality TV show marathon, because all the episodes blend into one after a while and it feels like you've only been on the sofa for an hour instead of four or five. Don't worry though, I kept it classy; it was about a tattoo parlor in NYC, no bickering over-privileged "housewives" for me thanks! (I'm a reality snob, but I'm very idiosyncratic in my prejudices - Jersey Shore = under no circumstances; Bethany Getting Married = hell yeah, despite her former housewife status)

Oh, by the way, I'm having ridiculously complicated nightmares (teeth falling out, exams I've forgotten to revise for, horrible murders etc etc) whilst I'm ill, whereas Doc C's painkillers are an opiate so he's been having lovely dreams. Apparently for the past two nights in a row now he's had the same dream, where he is professing his undying love to me. How sweet is he?

Sneaky Office Blogging - Shhhhhh!

Doc C has called Charter and made an appointment for a house call tomorrow morning - So I am hoping against hope that we will have blissfully uncomplicated internet access this weekend.

Apart from that it's been a fairly quiet day in the office, hence the quick blog break, but I am really looking forward to going home because we've got last night's "Top Chef: Just Desserts" Willa Wonka reunion special to watch. Squee!

Also, red lipstick. I don't want to wear it everyday, but, when I do feel like it, I find it makes me quietly confident and happy. Useful to note.

Maude in Progress.

I don't generally post pictures of works in progress on-line, but I offered to make a pair of "Harold and Maude" (1971) amigurumis for Megg back in freaking NOVEMBER, so, you know, I thought I'd make an exception. 

This is Maude, I actually made her head when I was in England, so she's been percolating for a while now, and, after seriously months of internal debate, I finally decided to dress her in the outfit she wears to the second (I think?) funeral; so a classic trench coat with a pink silk scarf (not made yet) and a big yellow umbrella.

I still haven't quite decided how to dress Harold, should he wear the clothes he is in for the second funeral, or should I go for one of his more colourful and therefore fun outfits? He has a particularly great pinkish tweed suit that keeps jumping up and down in my mind, but I have no earthly clue how I would do that. Maybe baker's twine? I don't know. Fortunately I do know for definite that Harold will have very long legs, and they will definitely be clad in flares.

Two Hours in Norwich.

Mum had a meeting this morning so she took me into Norwich with her, and turned me loose for two hours. It's always disconcerting to realise how much a city has changed, but I could still find my way around without too much difficulty.

One of my first stops was Waterstones, where they had a Dalek plonked next to the escalator apparently browsing the Classics section. He was suitably grumpy, and threatened to exterminate me, which was thrilling. There was a sign taped to the front saying to please be gentle with him because he was very old, but I don't know why he was there or if he was an original cast member or anything really. Still, a DALEK!

Then I went to the bank to see if I could remember what the PIN for my cashcard might be. Now sometimes when one is writing a blog one has to consider the likely audience, and I know this week that Doc C will be reading this, so I'm almost reluctant to blog about this... But I thought it was funny, so bugger it!

I put my card into the ATM, and typed in the PIN that I thought was most likely. The machine happily brought up the screen asking how much money I wanted, I decided on £50, whereupon it told me by card had expired and spat the thing out. Oh. Hmmm. Good thing Doc C gave me his cashcard and PIN before I left, eh? That worked beautifully, so I do have access to British currency whilst I'm here. Hoorah! Iknow that Doc will now fret about what i would have done had he not lent me his card, but I'd have been fine. If necessary I was thinking I could have transfered the money into Mum's account and she could get it out for me. No problem, just a touch more complicated.

A Purgative of Mental Objects.

Edith woke me up at 5 this morning by miaowing pitifully, which she never does, so I went downstairs to check she was ok (she was totally fine, I don't know what that was about at all) and then back up to bed; but I couldn't fall back to sleep.  I just did that dozing thing, where you have your eyes closed but your brain is churning away.

Mainly I was thinking about life, the universe, and, you know, everything.  A recurring theme was blogging and what exactly I'm trying to do in this little bit of of the internet.  I read a lot of blogs, web comics and cyber-zines so I've observed there are as many approaches to maintaining an internet site as there are people on-line.  I've never wanted to stick to a particular theme, because my blog was more about keeping an open diary.

When I wrote about going to the hospital with Doc C on Wednseday evening he wasn't very pleased that I'd done that, but it was in defending those 2 posts that I came to the conclusion that I haven't been writing about the things I've been actually thinking about.  I don't really know why I'm censoring myself so heavily because all it means is that when I open the compose screen I'm stuck with a very limited selections of topics to write about, and it sort of feels like I'm making endless small talk.  Which is exhausting.

So I think it's time for a cathartic blurt of my current recurring thoughts:

• Doc C and I are going to try and get me pregnant in 2011.  This is a very weird thought.
• I haven't been home in over three years and I just have a small but constant lump of homesickness in my throat that I have to try and ignore or I'll just wallow in it.
• I've been on anti-depressants for 18 months mainly to cope with the homesickness, and that certainly helps, but it's still there.
• I don't like living in a small town, because I really miss being in a big city.  The job market means we are unlikely to move anywhere soon, so I'm trying to make the best of it all but it's not my ideal lifestyle.
• Only one person seems to be talking to me from my last office here on campus, and that makes me really paranoid.  Did I do something awful or are they just cross because I changed offices?  No one's actually mentioned anything to me, but it's a hard feeling to shake.
• I like my current job but I always planned to have got somewhere in an actual career by this stage in my life, and I'm getting a little bit panicky that I'm in my mid-thirties without any idea what the hell I'm going to do next. Part of the problem is that the only career option that seems viable in a small university town is becoming a university lecturer.
• I'd need to complete at least an MA, which would involve taking classes, researching and writing essays and doing student teaching whilst working a full time job.  I need a nap and a large gin just thinking about that. 
• I would like to start a small business but I'm not sure what I should try to do.  I'm always being told I should sell my Amigurumis or other stuff I make, but I'm just not sure if that's really what I want to do full-time.
• I'm not a very good house keeper, because I honestly don't notice that stuff until it becomes clear that it really needs to be done.
• I don't like my wardrobe.  The only place I ever seem to buy clothes here is Old Navy, which is fine for jeans and casual tops; but all of their skirts are too short.  I'll never be cool and that's fine, I just want to look smart and sensible, but also a bit funky or at least interesting.  
• I can't find time to exercise regularly.  Going to the University gym is free, but it opens at 7 so I can only fit in 20 to 30 minutes in the morning before I have to get ready to start work at 8; the gym then closes at 3 and I finish work at 5.  I can't run because my plataar fascitiis flares up again.  I want to take Pilates, but one studio just won't get back to me and the other isn't offering classes until next year now.
• I'm a natural blonde and, as is natural, my hair is getting darker.  I occaisonally think that I'd like to dye it a fun colour, but I've never bleached or dyed my hair and I'm not sure I could really be bothered with the necessary upkeep to keep it looking good.  Plus that sounds expensive.
• We will be in Boston for Christmas, which means we will be seeing the Doc's family and he hasn't even begun thinking what we could do for presents for all of them.  Actually when I mentioned it this morning he said he would tell them not to give us any, so we shouldn't need to get anything for them.  This strategy never bloody works, and I find it mortifying to be given gifts when I don't have anything to give in return.
• Edith keeps pooping on the bathroom floor, I'm trying not to get angry with her because I know she's just trying to tell me something, but I don't know what she wants now. This makes me feel like a bad cat owner.

Ummm... Yeah, there's other stuff too I'm sure, but that'll do for now!

Links - Two Set of Three.

It's a rainy Tuesday; Doc C is playing video games; Edith is asleep on my feet; Nancy is asleep on the stairs and I don't have a lot else to say about today really.

So here are some links!  Yay!

First food links - Because I haven't had dinner yet and I'm getting peckish.

1. Artisan tonic water - Q Tonic.
2. The Observer Food Monthly's Top Ten cookbooks of all time.  We don't have any of these!
3. Pictures and Pancakes. Gorgeously styled and photographed food from a couple, who happen to be a food stylist and a photographer. And to your left you will see Chocolate Guiness Cake.

 

Now onto the Dragon Con links - because I'm getting quite excited now.

1. One of these t-shirts from Think Geek, or both?
   
2. The Skeptrak schedule of panels sounds particularly interesting.
3. This is the guest list for 2010 - So much squeeee in one place!
   
   
   

We Have The Keys!

Doc C picked up the keys to the new house today, and got the ok to start moving our stuff in!  Yay!

He also got the TV and internet sorted out; this was slightly more involved than one would think, because basic cable is provided as part of the rental arrangement of the house.  Great!  Except it confuses the hell out of the cable company when you then try and get the internet hooked up as well, because their records show someone is already registered at the address.  Doc managed to explain things to them eventually, but then called me with the tragic news that we might have TV but probably not the internet until TUESDAY.

TUESDAY!

I think I can cope, but don't be surprised if blog posts are patchy over the weekend.  I may try texting posts from my phone, but I'm not going to promise anything at this point.  We have a lot of boxes to move and I may well just be asleep when I'm not physically carrying stuff from point A to point B.

Ah, moving day...

Mad Men On Demand.

We are moving in four days - But it's really humid, so naturally I'm curled up on the sofa watching TV.

I got sucked into "Mad Men" by Tom and Lorenzo's analysis of the costumes in their Mad Style posts.  So then I caught up by reading my way through all of TLo's episode re-caps, and now I'm watching season three, because I've just discovered cable's On Demand service. 

It's probably a good thing that only the last season is available to watch.  I really should be putting things in boxes.

Lovin' Blogs.

Follow my blog with bloglovin

I have no idea what the hell this is, but it turned up in my stats which intrigued me.  So I signed up, and apparently there are two people following me on it.

Hello!  How are you two?

Now I've "claimed" my blog by writing this post and including that bit of code up at the top, so this means I can now tailor the description of Alien Spouse that BlogLovin has on it's site.  I can change the name, description and thumbnail; and I can categorise it as well.  I went with "Interests: Odd Stuff", because there didn't seem to be a "General Whittering" category.  I haven't inadvertently tag my blog with something vastly inappropriate that I'm just too naive to realise have I?

Eleven Doctors.

Ooh!  Look what Megg Quiddity found:

"The ultimate Doctor Who collectors set! Features all eleven incarnations of the Doctor presented in an impressive Tardis display box with a small bio of each Doctor.

Set Includes:

-William Hartnell (1963–1966)
-Patrick Troughton (1966–1969)
-Jon Pertwee (1970–1974)
-Tom Baker (1974–1981)
-Peter Davison (1981–1984)
-Colin Baker (1984–1986)
-Sylvester McCoy (1987–1989, 1996)
-Paul McGann (1996)
-Christopher Eccleston (2005)
-David Tennant (2005–2010)
-Matt Smith (2010-Present) 

Look for this set from Underground Toys to be released in August."

Busted by Custard.

After dinner this evening Doc C suggested that we go out for frozen custard.  Wait, let me revise that, on the way home from work this evening The Doc mentioned custard and by 9:30 this evening he was in a custard craving frenzy.  Fortunately the Custard Depot is open until 10:30 on Fridays, Yay!

So we drove into town, and joined the queue for our frozen treat.  As soon as we walked in one of the girls behind the counter said "Hello Doctor ******!" to Doc C, and we realised it was the student that the Doc had given the, um, reference for last week.  The owner of the shop, Crae, looked up and said "Is that Alien Spouse?" and I knew I'd been rumbled.  

Ah well!  It had to happen at some point, and actually Crae was very kind and gave us our custards on the house because he'd found the Jane Doe story funny.  There is not much better on a Friday night than a free Mint Cookie (Oreo) custard, although Doc C begs to differ, he thinks a free Vanilla custard is actually the winning ticket.

What happened was that the business has a Google alert set up, so they are notified every time "Custard Depot" gets mentioned and my post popped up.  I should have thought of that, and usually I'm fairly diligent at concealing easily identified business names; in fact this is the first time in three years that I've been identified from my blog by someone who didn't "know" me previously.  That's actually pretty impressive!  I think the reason that the Custard Depot slipped by my internal firewall was that I really like the name.

5 Links.

Here is an illustrated on-line guide to tying your silk scarf in a variety of jaunty manners.  Natty.

An on-line tartan generator.  Geometric.

Three different blogs that are listed in the order I stumbled upon them.  All of them have orange in the title:

1. Whorange
2. Orangette
3. How About Orange?

Links and Notions.

I've noticed that I tend to post links to interesting things on Facebook, rather than here or on Twitter.  On the one hand this is usually because I wish to draw something to the attention of a specific person, but not always.  In a similar way I'm also tending to jot ideas down on Twitter, rather than here.

Which is, you know fine, except that Facebook and Twitter don't have terribly useful search functions for going back through your own posts and I find my blog really useful for that.  I mean imagine if, for example, I forgot my wonderful idea for a faux vintage t-shirt from Manderlay and I couldn't search for "That great T-shirt idea I had"?  How awful would that be?  

Because I really do want to put that t-shirt together somehow, I can picture it exactly.  It will be a very light blue distressed t-shirt, with a centered print of a black silhouette of a impressive country mansion against an orange-and-yellow sunset, and say "A Present from Manderlay" in sweeping white lettering.  And yes I know that a t-shirt from Manderlay, however distressed it may look, will be terribly anachronistic, but I still think it would be really funny!  And elitist!  And geeky!  And I think I could get away with wearing that to work, don't you?  I mean it's a literary reference for crying out loud!

Yeah, so my not-new-year's resolution is more links and jotting down of notions here on this blog.  it'll be good, trust me.

Delicate Little Birds.

A friend of mine from University has started a blog which she has entitled Delicate Little Birds. 

It's a lovely name, and a lovely blog too.

The Only Opinion That Matters Anyway.

I wonder how many people those last two posts might have offended?  I am confident that my Mum won't be one of them, so that's alright.

Mum, I only know those bad words because I saw the film last night.  Cross-my-heart-and-hope-to-die!

Lost and Found: Mitten.

I found a glove outside my office this week, and I scooped it up and brought it inside for safe keeping.  It's been sat on the hallway sideboard for a few days now.

I'm pretty sure it's hand-made, because of some of the details to it.

In particular that little bit of light blue in the top stripe speaks to me of someone finishing off a remnant from their stash.

Of course I shall be submitting it to Unloved Glove; which is geographically based in Winchester and was pointed to me by Mum (who is in Norfolk), after she read about it on @ctramsey's (who is here in NC) Twitter feed, because I had traded tweets with him about the magical properties of toast.

Wouldn't it be hilarious if that convoluted chain of communication somehow lead to the mitten being re-united with it's twin?

Swag Give Away.

When you write a blog sometimes companies will like a post you've written about their products, and sometimes they will send you what is commonly referred to as "swag".  Typically blogs that cater to a particular niche in the readership audience will be sent appropriate items, so for example a cooking blog will be sent cook books, and craft blogs will be sent craft supplies.  This swag may then be kept by the blogger or given away to readers. 

I am pleased to say that, for the first time since starting Alien Spouse, I have swag to share!

Dan at Feline Pine e-mailed me to say that he had liked my recent post about cat litter and offered to send me some Feline Pine gifts, which arrived today.  I have already used the wide-slotted scoop which is perfect for the pellets, so I'm assuming no-body would want that now, and Edith loves the brush, so that's also off the table.  I also feel that Doc has more than earnt the Feline Pine stress ball, so he's getting that.

The remaining swag is a Feline Pine re-usable shopping bag, a Feline Pine mug and a Feline Pine T-Shirt.  Please leave a comment on this post before Monday 18th January if you would like any of those.  If necessary I will draw a name at random, you know, if demand is particularly fierce.

Of course now I'm speculating about what niche in the blog market this swag would indicate that Alien Spouse is catering to.  Devoted pet owners, right?

Three Nights in Tribeca.

Can it be? Is it true? Yes! Doc C has found a hotel on Manhattan Island with free wi-fi in the rooms! It's incredible, but true.  Do you know that the hotel in Washington wanted $12 for a day's worth of internet?  Outrageous!  I think we need to stand firm on these sorts of charges, and work towards making hotels understand the importance of being able to browse the internet in the comfort of one's own room.  This is ofcourse the only reason that I broke my run of daily blog posts, I managed over a year but in the end that's what got me.  Ah well!

Fortunately, our hotel in Tribeca is much more progressive on the internet front; AND they have a cafe downstairs.  They thoughtfully provide a copy of the menu in the rooms, which I have perused carefully and tomorrow morning I intend to eat a breakfast of porridge with maple syrup & fresh fruit, most likely with a pot of tea. Lovely.

Oh, and there is a detective novel shop just round the corner.  This place is perfect.

p.s. I will be posting my Christmas Day report at some point soon, hopefully before the start of the New Year but we will see.  You can't rush comedy.

Casting for Pods.

Whilst Doc C was seeing his doctor this morning, I sat in the waiting room knitting and listening to some hastily downloaded pod-casts.

I'm not sure I really understand pod-casts, are they like verbal blogs?  And how do you tell which ones you want to listen to?  I gave up a minute or two into a pod-cast by a British stand-up comedian that I used to like, but listened enthralled to three episodes of an Aussie bloke's adventures in knitting.

Am I doing it wrong?

365 Plus Some More.

This is my 2050th post, and with it I have successfully completed over an entire year of NaBloPoMo, which means I've posted at least once a day since the 1st of November 2008.

That is a lot of blog.  However, I seem to have fallen off the blogroll for November, which is weird because I could have sworn I was on there, so I'm not eligible for a prize. Le sigh.

Oh well, I bought my own prize!  Some really cute badges (American translation: Pins) from Nut and Bee, which I found today and I warn you now everything is just lovely.  All this stuff is so adorable, and there is even a little Happy Crochet badge, it's so difficult to find crochet stuff!  Everything's always knitting, and you know I like knitting too, but crocheting deserves some cuteness too.  After all, without crochet there is no amigurumi, and that is the very epitome of cute in crafting.

Three Good Things.

1. Very excitingly I will be buying this book from Rex Parker, replacing my current copy of this title; because I want as much of my Marsh collection to have vintage covers as possible.
2. I also bought some new clothes today, nothing particularly dramatic; a denim skirt, a pair of cords, and a black sweater, but the skirt is a US size ten so a UK size 12.  Um, squee!
3. And we found blackcurrant jam in one of the local supermarkets.

Yeah, I'm pretty easily pleased actually...

NaBloPoMo '09.

It's the first of November, which means to bloggers everywhere it's time for (Inter)National Blog Posting Month!  As it happens, I started posting daily on the first of November 2008, and I didn't drop the ball for a whole year.

So what's happened in the past twelve months?  For those of you joining us now, lets have a quick recap:

• November '08: America got a new president, and I got my beloved iPod Touch.
• December '08 : Bettie Page died, and I discovered Constant Comment tea.
• January '09: John Mortimer and Patrick McGoohan both died, and I gave up trying to train the cats to use the toilet like humans.
• February '09: Edith killed our romantic Valentine cupcakes, and I ran the first Alien Spouse Mystery Crochet Contest.  I must do another one of those sometime...
• March '09: We began to go to the gym before work, and I discovered the internet wonder that is Hulu.
• April '09:  Doc C learnt to make crumpets, and we went to Philadelphia.
• May '09: I went whale watching in Province Town and got a tattoo of a key on my right wrist.
• June '09: Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson died.  The media went insane, I'm just surprised no-one's yet claimed it wasn't all an elaborate hoax to jump start Jackson's come back.
• July '09: Doc got his iPod Touch and a new bike.
• August '09: I passed my learners permit test (first go and no wrong answers) and signed up for my MA course in English Literature.
• September '09: Keisha left the Sugababes and I went for my two year anniversary of coming to America to be Biometrically Tested
• October '09:  I got Mono and slept through October.  No really, I did, and I still blogged every day, that is commitment.

I suppose the biggest change was that I started calorie counting, using a free app on the iPod called "Lose It!", and since November last year I have lost around 45 pounds (That's over three stone) and two dress sizes.  That makes a huge difference to my body shape, and I really wish I'd bought that iPod sooner, so I could have done this ages ago!  Seriously, I LOVE my iPod for this; not only does it count all my calories for me but it keeps me motivated on the eliptical in the gym as well.  The iPod Touch seemed like an indulgence before I got it, but really it's been very useful.

That was 2009, at the beginning of the NaBloPoMo cycle I taught myself to crochet and for 2010 I'm teaching myself to knit.  Well, I actually could already knit never ending scarves, but this time I intend to knit actual things.  To your left you will see the first few rows of a red cotton circular thingy, which is going to be a cowl, assuming that I've actually made it big enough to go over my head.

Almost a Cat.

I was looking at my blog hits for the month:

It occurred to me that if there had been a dip in page views, instead of the slight spike, then my stats graph would have looked like a cat:

See?

Move Along... Nothing Here To Snipe At Here...

It turns out I am, like, totes naive when it comes to the world of blogs.   Recently Dooce has started an archive of her hate mail  Most of it is has been attributed to one particular woman, which piqued my interest, and a quick google revealed that this one particular woman also had similar issues with a few other "mommy-bloggers".  It was at this point that I went through the self-reflexive looking-glass of blogs.

It turned out that a lot of the poison-pennings were originally posts and comments from a blog that's whole purpose is to be scathing and critical of a few other people's blogs.  And, AND, it's not the only snark-fest out there!  This is a self-cannibalising blog trend that I was completely unaware of before today, and I'm sort of bemused by it.  It seems like a lot of mental and emotional energy to expend on extreme snarking.  Can't we all just post photos of kittens and unicorns?

If you are even considering starting a blog I would not go looking for these web critics, not because they aren't amusing some of them are very funny, but because some of it is pretty vitriolic and quite depressing really.  If I'd seen this stuff before I started blogging I would have been trepidatious about publishing that first post.  Now I'm just hoping to never do anything to draw any ire from that quarter of the web.  I cry really easily.

My Commitment to Further Education.

At lunch time I spent a couple of hundred dollars on the text books I need for my MA course, and now I think perhaps I should also have looked for a decent time management book.  Taking today as an example I have been doing something or other since 6:15 this morning, and I need to streamline my day somewhere.  I mean obviously I need to keep the working, the reading, the sleeping, the exercising, the eating, and the scooping-litter-trays, so what does that leave that is inessential?  Well, I'm thinking breathing and, believe me this really hurts, but I think it might also be time to cut back on... the internet.

Don't worry I will ALWAYS make time to blog, but I really have to cut down on my random web surfing.  I've already got an extensive selection of blogs and websites that I peruse regularly, but I just cannot add any more to that, and some may have to fall by the wayside.  Much though I love it, I don't need to read "Overheard in New York" every day, I think I can cut that back to just once a week, and I've already stopped looking at "Stuff on My Cat", can you believe that?  "Stuff on My Cat" was what the internet was invented for, and I've gone cold turkey on it.  Weird.  Although it does help that it's not as good as it used to be, the cats are obviously still completely fabulous, but the quality of the stuff on them and the captions describing the picture have really gone down hill recently.

This is where Twitter, Netvibes and Instapaper are going to be invaluable.  Twitter gives me fun sized snippets of data through out the day, Netvibes keeps my internet nicely organised as well as telling me when there have been new posts on my favourite sites and finally InstaPaper means I can save interesting things to my iPod to read when I have more time.  It's a three-pronged internet attack plan, and I intend to use it ruthlessly.

Be warned internet, I will be taking no nonsense.

Normal Alien Spouse Service Will Resume Shortly

But, right now, I am so freaking tired I can barely watch "Top Chef: Vegas" in bed. 

And I can always watch "Top Chef", even when it doesn't have the added pop of Vegas Baby.

Evening Classes.

Guess where I am right now? Well, ok not right now because I'm setting up a timer delay on this post, but the time that this will be posted? Is this confusing?  Anyway...

This evening I'm taking my first MA class in English Literature, um, Squeeeee!

Wednesdays (6pm - 9pm) will be "Seventeenth Century British Literature" which is being taught by my friend David and Mondays (6pm - 9pm) will be "Bibliography and Research" which is being taught by my friend Jill.

If you're really lucky there might be a photo post after the class (I haven't seen any unusually sized insects today, so don't get too excited), but Edith woke me up at 4 o'clock this morning, damn her, and let us not forget that Wednesdays are also a gym day, so I am predicting I will get home and promptly fall asleep because this will be a v-e-r-y l---o---n---g day. 

Good thing I've had coffee.  Really strong coffee actually, and I might make some tea to take with me to the class.  And I should probably eat something as well, maybe a veggie burrito?

Point being, I am both really tired and over caffeinated, and that means I am barely coherent and I can't work put how to end this post without it just abruptly stopping. 

Sort of like a Neal Stephenson novel, much though I love Neal Stephenson's novels, the way the story just stop drives me crazy.  Have I mentioned that before?  "The Diamond Age", for example, is a rocking good sci-fi novel for the entire way through and then has an ending that annoyed me SO much the first time I read it I was proper cross.  When I re-read it, I was braced for the ending, so it didn't seem that terrible, but the first time I was totally deflated by it.

The End.

Salad for Dinner.

This was my dinner.  A carrot and blueberry salad with pumpkin seeds, and dressed with black pepper, lemon juice and olive oil.  So delicious.

I read this recipe on Crazy Aunt Purl, who got it from the New York Times 101 Salad recipes.

The Sleep Pattern of The Justice League. Probably.

Yesterday I found an interesting set of articles about sleep, in particular how to sleep well and get up early each morning.  I'm actually not bad at that, having commuted for years I am fully aware that I need to be asleep before 11 if I want to feel human at 5.30 the next morning, but it's nice to have some back up information on that sort of thing.

The blogger then went on to try experimenting with polyphasic sleep, which involves napping for twenty to thirty minutes six times a day.  It sounds fascinating!  I wouldn't want to try it because the adaptation period of the first week or so appears to be hellish, but after that it sounds like you free up bucket loads of time.  Could be useful when my carefully constructed alter-ego is finally a solid enough cover for me to take on my crime fighting persona.  I may have said too much...

Really though, I'm thinking Batman, Spiderman and Buffy etc., all must have developed polyphasic sleep patterns, because otherwise how could they patrol all night and also hold down a day job?  That has always bothered me, and now I have an actual real world explanation I feel a lot better about things.  I like my sci-fi fantasy to have some sort of connection to the reality, even if it's a tenuous one.

Ready to Party in Under Twenty Minutes. Let's Go!

We went to the engagement party of our friends Jack and Amber last night, which was really nice.  Before we went I decided to have an afternoon nap, because warm weather saps my energy reserves by a ridiculous amount.  Doc was working on a paper and lost track of time, so I was expecting to be woken up in time for a light snack before getting ready to leave, and instead we had to go! Now!

I had already planned to wear a mini-dress I bought in the Philadelphia H&M, so I pulled that on and shoved my feet into my black low-top converse.  All I had to do now was put on some make-up.  Quickly!  I was just applying blusher when Doc said "Don't you usually wear tights (American translation: Pantyhose) with that dress?" Yes, I did when I first got it in the Autumn, but it's too warm now.  "Oh, Ok.  Are you going to put on a belt?"  No.  And what the hell are you trying to say?  Should I not wear this?  I thought we were in a hurry, why are you double-guessing my wardrobe choices?  Hmmm?  Doc hurriedly explained that he hadn't meant a thing by it, that these were entirely innocent questions and that I looked very pretty.

However the biggest problem was now what to do with my hair.  I hadn't put any styling products in that morning, and we didn't have time now; so, don't tell Jason, but I grabbed an Alice band to wrangle it into some semblance of a Do and we left.  And that is why I attended a social gathering without hair product.  Did I learn nothing from living with a hairdresser for 7 years?

It turned out to be much easier to handle my hair that way, so I thought perhaps I should reconsider my daily styling routine.  The main problem is my right side starts going off at a tangent, so I thought I'd try flipping the parting from the left side to the right.  That should make the right side less heavy, but it will also counteract the effect of driving with the car windows open.  I may as well try to work with it rather than against it. 

Of course Officially Pronounced Dead, lists Paul McCartney's hair parting jumping from the left to the right as one of the clues that he was replaced by an imposter in 1967.  Don't worry though, even when my hair is parted on the right, I'm still me!

Ian's Shoelace Site - Shoe Lacing Methods

Stumble Upon thought I might like this, and, once I started looking at it, I did become oddly fascinated.  The internet is quite a sweet place sometimes.

Ian's Shoelace Site - Shoe Lacing Methods.

Smoggy Old London.

In the comments of my last fascinating post on the weather, Miss Joules (Hello!) mentioned that when she tried telling her family in America that "...England gets only a bit more rain than they do, only they get it over three weeks instead of three days, but their preconceived notions are stronger than my factual information."

OMG!  I know exactly what you mean!

Have you ever tried telling an American that London is not foggy?  They will look at you as though you are pathological liar.  They have seen Sherlock Holmes movies, thank you very much, which means they are well aware that London is foggy, so why would I say any different?  Well, because London really does not get "Pea Soupers" any more.  The thing is that actually what London used to get is smog, and  there is much less coal smoke in London, which means that you don't get the same impenetrable fogs in contemporary London. Sorry, I know that is slightly less romantic but it's also a lot better for your health, so there is that.

When I started writing this post I was intending to include a finale in the form of a hilarious anecdote about my lovely Mother-in-Law, but it has been vetoed by Doc C.  This leaves me without a big finish to this post, but trust me it was comedy gold.

Two Years of Spousing in an Alien Manner. Like, Two Months Ago.

Anyway, I totally missed my second blogging anniversary.  It was back in April!

I believe I shall have a nice cup of tea to celebrate.

If You Hold This Post Up To A Mirror, It Makes NO Sense.

I was reading a Mental Floss post about today being the forty second anniversary of the release of Sgt. Pepper, and they had a link to a website detailing all of the clues that are supposed to indicate that Paul died in a car crash in 1966 and was replaced by a lookalike who was also, damn luckily, a soundalike. Rather impressive!  All the more so when when you read the list of 376 clues, and some of those clues actually pre-date the accident.  Were the Beatles clairvoyant, or is there a more... sinister... interpretation... that can be applied?

Actually the "Officially Pronounced Dead?" website, despite being pretty thorough in it's "Paul Is Dead" clue hunting, is maintained by a sensible man; who clearly states in the FAQ that he doesn't believe the conspiracy theory himself, but still enjoys cataloguing all the clues anyway.  It's fun!

However, if you prefer your crazy hot and fresh, check out the PID links page!  There you can find people who really are convinced that Faux Paul, or "Faul" as he is often known by PID conspiracy theorists, has been perpetrating a massive scam for over forty years now.  In fact some speculate that the same person was doubling for both Paul McCartney and Vivian Stanshall.  I heart that theory a lot, I think that one might be my very favourite mainly because how could that possibly have worked logistically?  Hmmm?

Anyway, I know none of this will be news to you, but it kept me hugely entertained through out my lunch hour and made me want to listen to more thing backwards whilst exhaustively examining cover art for those tricksy hidden messages. What I want to know is why there don't appear to have been any easter egg clues hidden on DVD releases, surely that's a missed opportunity right there!

Goodbye "TV Stole My Baby".

I have deleted my other blog, which Doc gave the name "TV Stole My Baby" to, because I have only updated it twice since I set it up anyway.  Plus it was supposed to be a separate space for me to post TV reviews to, and I'm somewhat disenchanted by the fact that any new series I get excited by keep getting cancelled.

Well, that and I can't stop watching "Law and Order" marathons.  Now that I've got over my aversion to the terrible music (and what the hell is that ching-ching noise supposed to be anyway?) I like all three of it's incarnations and I am simply unable to turn off the back-to-back episodes once they gets started.  The point is though there is really is not a lot that you can say about "Law and Order", without having to plaster the thing in spoiler warnings.  Except from it's always entertaining, and the lead actors look like they are having the best time.  I love Vincent D'Onofrio, and his partnership with Kathryn Erbe has so much texture to it; Ooh, Ooh, and Olivia d'Abo is surprisingly good as an evil, um, librarian.

Anyway, "Law and Order" is good, but really does the world need a regularly updated blog full of posts like that last paragraph?  No, I didn't think so either.  Delete.

Does Anyone Know When I'm I Legally Required to Start Talking Like Katherine Hepburn?

Ok, so Doc has finished messing around on the laptop and looking up his silly conference stuff, so I'm back now to give you a longer post.

Now usually I would just have cobbled something together on the iPod, and then gone back into the post from the laptop to edit if necessary.  I can't do that though because the hotel doesn't have wi-fi.  I know.  We actually have been forced to connect the computer to the internet via a cable.  What is this?  The dark ages?  It's just barbaric.

True, the room is comfortable, there will be a free breakfast tomorrow and they do serve complimentary afternoon tea with cookies every afternoon at four, but if we can get wi-fi three thousand feet up a mountain in a place that doesn't even have a Starbucks for crying out loud (which is good, I know, Starbucks are corporate bullies blah blah blah) then I really do not know what Philadelphia's excuse is.

Anyway, the main problem is that without wi-fi I can't use my iPod to blog, or Twitter, or check my e-mail, or the weather, or look at maps, or breathe.  I've set up my Twitter account so that I can send updates to it from my mobile phone, and I will just have to wrestle the laptop from Doc C occasionally to blog, because I am not going to drop the Nablopomo ball now just because I'm on a city break.  You don't get me that easily Philadelphia!  This is one British woman that you shall not defeat, whatever your history books may lead you to believe!

By the way, because of the difficulties of being a vegetarian when on a road trip, today I have eaten carbs pretty much exclusively, which also happened to involve a fair amount of sugar and caffeine.  Can you tell?

A Super Good Wednesday.

I spoke to my Mum this afternoon, and she said that Alien Spouse was perhaps in danger of becoming all crocheted amigurumi, all of the time.  I would say she has a point, but in the same conversation she also said that Edith is very beautiful, and that's clearly nonsense.

Anyway, today I crocheted absolutely nothing at all, instead I have:

• Really enjoyed my twenty minutes of cardio,
• Ate one of the yummiest protein bars ever, 
• Finally got my office furniture organised into a much more pleasing configuration,
• Attended an interesting training session on archiving documents (I'm serious!  It wouldn't be my idea of a good time but it was very informative.  Plus they gave us all chocolate bunnies!)
• Enjoyed a delicious veggie burrito for lunch which is well within in my calories today,
• Found another website that has those great peep toe DMs,
• Solved a problem for one of our students and chatted to another about his upcoming thesis defence which sounds fascinating,
• Went on a lovely office supply spree in Staples,
• Came home to my cats,
• Watched a documentary on Steve Ditko,
• Curled up in the new chair, with Edith and a glass of wine, in front of a lovely cosy fire.

From my perspective today was a really good day, but as far as posting material goes it's hardly dynamite, even in that most beloved format of bloggers everywhere - The List.

Linkings.

I have some exciting new additions to the links category in the sidebar, which I'd like to bring to your attention.

First of all I added Mental_Floss a few weeks ago, and I think it's a very interesting web destination.  It's full of great nuggets of geekitude, with some fun quizzes.  You can easily convince yourself that it is in fact educational, and it must be helpful for your Trivial Pursuit or pub quiz scores.

I also recently discovered Questionable Content, via Cuteoverload (I don't need to link to that do I?  It has to be in your favourites, and it's in the sidebar anyway), which is a web comic.  I first visited on February 26, and I finished reading my way through the complete archives about a week later.  This is an archive of 1362 posts, representing a new strip every weekday since 2003 and it may be addictive.

Most important of all is Brokeback Monkey, which is written by someone who I may possibly think is one of the loveliest and most talented people I know.  I will warn you though, he's just started posting installments of a short story. and the prologue gave me very surreal dreams about a sinister inner city windmill.  Like you do.

Just Spam Off!

I do not understand the logic of spammers, for example I just removed a comment that linked to a website offering help with dissertations from my last post. 

The post that was about scooping my cats' litter tray, and actually had the word "poop" in it's very title.

Besides, hello, as I have regularly made clear, my husband is a professor of philosophy and I also work in a university department, do you really think I'm going to let you tag a website that essentially assists students with cheating on possibly their most important piece of course work?  That would be a NO.

Oh I know spammers don't actually bother to read the blogs they pester, and it's probably an automated computer anyway, but still!  I have a zero tolerance policy on spam and trolls in my comments, and I am not going to stand for any nonsense.

Grrhhh!!!!

I am Blogger!  Hear me ROAR!

Anyway...

Today is Friday!  And it being spring break I could wear anything I liked to work today, so I went with my Mental Floss "Simple as 3.141592..." T-shirt layered over my grey polka dot long sleeve T.  Happiness is a geeky joke.

Mystery Crochet Solved! Go Ella!

We have a winner!

Congratulations Ella, you correctly identified our Mystery Amigurumi as the Alien Spouse from the banner!  Look, she's there now!

I have your e-mail address, so I shall be in touch later today about how best to get her to you.

Mystery Crochet - In Answer to Your Question.

I have made a contest page where I will be putting all of the answers to the questions you ask me, and all of the picture clues.  I'll update it as we go.

There is a link in the side bar on the left, and here's another link to it, just to be thorough!

I told you this morning that this is a fictional character, BUT she has never appeared in a film, on TV, in a book or a play, as far as I am aware.

This snippet of information prompted Deidre to ask if she was a British fictional character.  To be honest I think she has quite a complicated personal history, and part of that is because she has no nationality.

Here is your next picture clue:

A Picture Paints A Thousand Words.

Instead of a photograph today, I have made an Alien Spouse Wordle!  It was fun!

Three Men on a Blog.

When writing a blog you also tend to be a regular reader of other blogs, and then you tend to find yourself experiencing post envy.  Sometimes the blog you are reading is about a lifestyle that you wish you had, but more usually the envious reaction is triggered by a nicely turned phrase, or a particularly good observation, an excellent joke or even just a well chosen subject.

The reading blogger then thinks to themselves "Damn it!  I noticed [...Fill in suitably fascinating observation here...] too, but did I write about it?  No!  I wrote a post about how my cat chatters at the birds when they land on the bird feeder, as if no other cat has ever exhibited this behavior!"

To add to my feelings of blog envy, I have recently been reading "Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow" by Jerome K. Jerome.  It is a damned shame that man died in 1927, because that necessarily means he couldn't have even considered the possibility of the existence of blogs, and yet, I firmly believe, he would have been a phenomenal blogger.

It's quite something to be envying the blogging capabilities of a man who has been dead for over 80 years, especially as you'd think observational comedy from 103 years ago would lose a little something, but it is still hilarious.  Not to mention free to download from the Guttenberg Project (if you are in the USA, if in other countries your copyright laws may vary), which is another distinct point in it's favour.

A Little Harsh.

After work today I was reading "Crazy Aunt Purl" and Laurie blogged a post about how much she likes Thom Felicia and his new show "Dress My Nest" on the Style channel (Well, it starts off about that, and then she segues into earthquakes and their lack of effect on her cats).

I clicked the link that Laurie provided, because naturally I *heart* all of the Fab Five, and follow their post-Queer careers closely.  Then I used the zip code checker to see if I could watch the show.

And the website said "Sorry to report, your area has no Style".

Oh Sweetie!  Tell me something I don't know!

Note to Spammers.

Hi! 

I know that I've decided not to moderate my comments, because, hello, I'm not Dooce, I only get 4 or 5 comments a week, so I can cope with monitoring them when they get published; however this is not an open invitation to start spamming me.

I have a few regular commentators, and so when I see a new name I click on it, if it takes me to a website for a business and, unless that business is relevant to the post and the comment left, then I am deleting the comment.  If, to take this morning's example, I have written a post about sandwiches, your comment is about oatmeal cookie dough ice cream and the URL you supply appears to be a site selling a pricing gun or something, then I am going to delete it.

Indeed I have no problem taking down my  own posts if they seem to be attracting too many random google hits.  My New Year's Eve post became wildly popular with a couple of Google bots recently and so I took it down until Typepad assured me that was normal.  And then I felt as though I had been overly paranoid, but damn it, I am paying for the domain name, I am paying to blog here and I am not about to let spammers jump on-board like a bunch of fleas to suck all the free advertising revenue they can get.  It annoys me.

So, please, if you have something fun to share with the group by all means do, I like comments (even if I am shockingly bad at responding to them, I'm even worse at answering e-mails.  It's my secret shame.) but if you are here to litter the place with spam then I am going to delete you and report the comment to Typepad as spam so they can work out a nice little software fix to block you.

Thanks!

Extended Sentence.

Recently I've been getting breathless letters from domain name providers letting me know that my registration of Alien Spouse was due to run out!  In March!  That's only three months away!  Oh My God!  Hurray!  Sign up with us now!  Ignore the fact that this letter came completely unsolicited from a company you never heard of before!  Send us money!

I waited until my actual domain name provider sent me a polite and calm e-mail reminder, then I popped over there and registered Alien Spouse Dot Com for another two years.

Looks like you're stuck with me for a bit longer.

She Doesn't Have a Bad Angle, Darling.

So I am pretty sure Edith can read and logs onto the computer after we've gone to bed. 

I think this mainly because almost as soon as I wrote a post saying that I don't want to write about the cats quite as much she decided to pose on the stairs in a patch of sunlight with the shadows from the Christmas decorations behind her.

Which was pretty impossible to ignore, so I took some photos instead.

Edith actually sat there and waited until I had run past her to get my camera, and then she let me take two shots before miaowing at me and running over to me for some fuss.

I think she'd proved her point.
 

2009! Let's Go!

Hello, and Welcome to 2009!  If you will look to your right you will note the new NaBloPoMo badges in the sidebar; one announcing that I successfully blogged everyday in December, and the other indicating that I fully intend to do the same thing in January!

So far every time I've put those buttons up in the sidebar I have had a small panic because I can never remember how I did it last time, but when I put the new ones up this morning I couldn't find the instructions and I just worked it out for myself.  Hoorah for trial and error!

Other projects for this year include learning to drive on the wrong side of the road, crocheting a creepy/cute amigurami, and making a short video of Edith to record one of her more eccentric but definitely charming habits.  We shall have to see if she feels like performing to command, but since she adores getting any sort of attention I am fairly confident she will.

Today I plan to get to know my new phone better (I will be posting the story behind how I finally got it, but I didn't want to start the new year on a rant), and maybe try to work out a way of making my own non obnoxious ring tones.  So there will be a lot of tinny electronic music in my house today, which will absolutely delight Edith if no-one else.  My favourite ever phone let me record a sound-bite with it, and then set that as a ring tone, so I had Fred Astaire tap dancing as my ring tone for ages.  I can also highly recommend having the sound of the TARDIS as your ring tone, which I downloaded it from the BBC website, but I'm not sure if you can outside of the UK.  That was a great ring tone because every time my phone rang people would literally stop in their tracks and look around hopefully, it was as if for one split second they believed Dr Who might be real.  Which would be brilliant!

Blogger's Lament.

It's New Year's Eve and as we are approaching 2009 it's a time to take stock and, I have to be honest here,  I'm not particularly chuffed with how Alien Spouse has been over the last few months. 

What happened was that I mentioned that I blog to someone I didn't know particularly well, and I sent her a link.  She then proceeded to tell a bunch of other people.  Who I work with. 

Actually she told them before I even got the job.  She suggested they read my blog when they were, in fact, preparing to interview me because my blog is just "so funny!"; I only found this out after I got the job, when they all assured me they hadn't read it.  When one of them first mentioned it to me I honestly felt my heart stop for a moment as my mind raced to think of anything that I might not want them to have read and I did go back and edit some of my archives.

Now it's always been a rule of mine that I don't blog about work directly anyway, but somehow knowing that your Departmental Director might just be bored one day and decide to check out what you've been blogging about recently really makes me think twice about sharing my thoughts on some subjects.  I'm pretty sure she wouldn't do that, but I can't know for certain, particularly as I must admit that if I knew one of my colleagues had a blog you can bet your bootstraps I would read it.  And please don't think for a moment that this is because I don't like any of the people in my office, they honestly do all rock!  But since knowing they are aware of Alien Spouse I have felt slightly uncomfortable, purely because I don't really know them very well yet, and I would have preferred to be the one who told them about my blog if I wanted to.  I suppose it's mainly that I am wary of offending anyone inadvertently, because I make a joke on my blog that they don't find funny, or that I'm having a bad day and rant about something that I don't think is in any connected to them, but, because this is a very small town, it turns out I'm actually saying something rude about their cousin.

Of course I know full well that this isn't controversial blog by any stretch of the imagination, it's written mainly for my mother's entertainment after all, but I certainly never meant for it to be primarily about my cats!  I was envisioning the odd cameo when they did something particularly cute, but lately they have taken over and  I don't want to write a crazy cat lady blog  (Although Nancy actually just play fought with me!  It's a breakthrough!  She even rabbit kicked!).

I'm not sure what to do about this situation, hence this slightly passive-aggressive post on the subject.  I haven't told anyone at work that I would feel uncomfortable knowing they read this, because that would probably be the quickest way to raise their curiosity about it, but I've kept an eye on my stats and there don't seem to be any new local readers lurking so I'm assuming they've simply forgotten all about it. 

It's funny how over time the sense of anonymity has become something I really wish I had protected more.  At first it seemed restrictive, but now that a large chunk of it has just been removed without my being able to do a thing about it, I realise how liberating it really was to have the opportunity to say pretty much anything I wanted.  It's most frustrating.  So much so that I have created a secret side project blog where I go off to scream rude words occasionally.  And, no, I'm not telling anyone where it is.

I may have said too much already.