Alien Spouse

How Now Brown Cow.

Over the weekend I was persuaded to actually leave the house and meet new people, which was fairly pleasant and I will probably repeat the experiment again.

The only thing I found uncomfortable was being told by a person who I'd never met or spoken to before, that my british accent was "mellowing" (how the hell would you know buddy? Oh, and I'm pretty sure it isn't because my Mum would have told me when I spoke to her on Saturday) and that I'd probably end up losing it all together in a few years time.  It's just an odd thing to declare to someone you've just met, isn't it?

Here's the thing, I love regional accents, but I myself have simply never had a regional accent of any sort, so I speak what is best described as nicely-brought-up-middle-class-ese.  I am reasonably certain that if I was going to have picked up an accent, then logically it should have been whilst I was a child or a teenager, when I was presumably more easily influenced and wanting to fit in; why would I suddenly change my accent in my mid-thirties?  I'm really quite happy with how I speak, and there isn't any pressure for me to change; in fact I get the distinct impression that having a British accent is one of my main selling points to an American market, if you want to be cynical about the thing.  I'm sure I've picked up some new words and phrases, but that's just sensible if you want to communicate with people.

Yeah, so that annoyed me quite a bit now that I think about it. In fact I'm tempted to find a course of internet elocution lessons, or listen to a lot of BBC radio broadcasts from the fifties to really nail that received pronunciation thing down.

Surprise Finger Monster.

One of the joys of on-line shopping is when you get an unexpected bonus item, and this is all the more true when it's something fun. I received a small box of daft gifts* today and, when I opened the box, a finger monster was on top of a heap of bio-degradable packing peanuts.

I particular appreciate that who ever it was that put him into the box was thoughtful enough to give him a snack; don't worry, the packing peanuts are made from potato starch, so it's probably safe for monsters to nom on.

*Since moving to the US I almost dread the annual office gift exchange, because it is so tricky to gauge what might be a good gift for a colleague. I can't fall back on that standard of impersonal British gift giving - A nice bottle of something.

The Sweet Silence.

Last night we had all of the lights on, left the front door open (we have a glass screen door, so the cats were in no danger of getting out), and ran to the window every time we thought a car was about to stop at our house because we were really hoping to see small children in costumes. We were usually disappointed to realise it was just someone turning round in our driveway (our driveway is the favourite place for people to turn around in our cul-de-sac, also I'm pretty sure the Fedex guy stops there every weekday afternoon to do his mid-point inventory).  

Despite our vigilance, the front porch was only approached once by ghoulish sugar fiends. There were two of them, presumeably a pair of siblings, gender unidentifiable under the surprisingly gruesome costumes and totally silent. We assumed they came to our house to get free confectionary but they actually didn't say that. Or "please", or "thank you" for that matter.

I will happily admit that I'm not very familiar with Trick-or-Treating as a tradition, because we just don't really do it that much in England; however I was given to understand that an integral part of the whole thing was the phrase "Trick or Treat!" being yelled in a exuberant manner by the children demanding sweets.

Still, that just means all the more chocolate and lollipops for Doc's Philosophy class today.

Coins and Doors.

It's been a while since I mentioned quirky cultural differences for a British woman living in America, but as it happens I have noticed two this week.

First of all, American coins don't have their denomination on them in figures, which doesn't sound too bad, does it? However when instead they are labelled something singularly uninformative, such as "dime", AND the relative size of the coins is of no help either, well, it's confusing. It reminds me of being quite small and my Grandad telling me a sort of maths riddle that was totally incomprehensible to me because the whole thing centered around The Old Money and, as a thoroughly decimal child, I had no idea what a shilling was worth.

The second thing is closed office doors seem to freak Americans out. My office is right off the main entrance to a five storey building which means that between classes the hallway is packed with students and it gets really noisy. Being right next to two sets of double doors also means it retains no heat at all, so all things considered I prefer to keep the door closed. There is a window in my door, so people can see me at my desk from outside, but even with that and a laminated sign that says "Please Come In!" people will still act as if the closed door is intimidating and say they weren't sure they were allowed in. Oh for crying out loud - It's not as if the damn thing is locked! Come in! Come in!

These are both odd things to my mind, but even odder is that it took me so long to realise. For quite a while I thought I was being really unobservant about the coins, until I mentioned it to friends and they immediately inspected the change in their pockets for the non-existent numerals. As for the door thing, I can only assume that Americans are all part feline and merely abhor an a blocked escape route.

A Real Live Person.

I often joke that the students believe that the faculty sleep in their offices, because they seem to be so put out when the professor they need to speak to isn't there at the very moment the student needs to speak to them.  Well, maybe sleep is the wrong concept, it's more like power down really as all students secretly believe that their teachers are some sort of artificially intelligent android with no real human attributes like emotions or familial attachments.

In a similar way some of Doc C's students have apparently become fascinated by me, as an abstract concept rather than an actual person as most of them haven't met me.  Doc sometimes mentions me in lectures, and when I cropped up in one of his classes yesterday he was asked where I worked.  Upon hearing I was actually only in the next building over, a couple of them immediately started planning to come and look at me in my enclosure.  Another student is an English major, so he was able to tell the exciting story of having actually spoken to me.  He was even able to repeat a witticism I'd made, although I don't know if he tried to do a British accent.

I am so very exotic. 

Car Dependency - An Epiphany.

Recently my friend Shawn tweeted (@idleformat) that Brighton was third in least car-dependent UK cities list.  I followed the link he provided to see which UK cities had had beaten my old home in the survey.

Nottingham topped survey ahead of London despite a multi-billion pound taxpayer investment in the capital's tube and bus services that is the envy of sister cities across the UK. Brighton came third, reflecting its much-admired bus network, its umbilical rail links with London and a size perfectly pitched for commuting cyclists and walkers. 

I started my working life in Nottingham, before moving to Brighton and then London.  People are surprised I don't drive, but according to this report I've spent the majority of my adult life living and/or working in cities where it was totally unnecessary to own a car.

It's like a light bulb went off for me!  No wonder I can't wrap my head around a culture that relies so heavily on private transportation; I'm used to actively pedestrianised city centers, good public transport options and a semi-decent (let's not entirely fib here and say "reliable") national train network.  

And yes, I do think that's better actually.

*Postscript* The BBC has a report on the new double deckers that London's shelling out seven point eight million pounds for.  I like the bits that have been directly lifted from the classic Routemaster, and the reduced carbon emissions sound good too.

 

Phraseology.

One of the weirder cultural differences is subtleties of information presentation or queries in everyday conversation.  Even before we moved here I was aware of this because Doc used to get SO cross with me when he'd say "Do you have any water?" and I'd say "Yes, I do.".  The problem was that I thought he was asking for information, which seemed a little odd because I always carry a bottle of water everywhere, but actually he was asking to drink some of my water.  He thought I was being rude and making fun of him, and I couldn't understand why he was getting so huffy.  Eventually we realised it was simply a difference in , because in the UK we would just say "Hey, can I have some of your water?" if that's what we want, which saves any confusion.  Doc wasn't very clear on why not asking the question directly is more polite, but until I asked it hadn't occurred to him that his phrasing of the request was in any way ambiguous.

Similarly when someone is explaining something complicated to you, let's say particle physics just for fun, it's going to be a one sided conversation for the most part.  In the UK to indicate we are paying attention, especially if it's something really dull, or to encourage the person to carry on talking, we would politely smile, nod and occasionally say "right", or "yes" or something else positive.  I find if I do that here the person talking stops, and asks if I already know what they are talking about, then I have to explain that I was just acknowledging paying attention.  It's most odd.

In my previous office I had a colleague who, whenever she gave me information, seemed to get stuck in a loop.  She'd say "X" and I'd say "Ok, thanks".  Then she'd explain X again in a different way, and I'd say "Right! I understand" and this could go on for several years minutes.  I finally realised that she likes to top-and-tail a conversation, so if I said something in response, she then had say something else.  That's fine, I don't care about having the last line, but I cannot work out for the life of me how to acknowledge that I have understood the information without saying something to that effect.  It was very trying.

I'm sure I can be bewildering too, and I know that I employ a particularly British trick of asking "You know Edith?" before launching into a story about her.  I know you know Edith, it's a rhetorical question which is simply alerting you to the fact I am about to tell you something about Edith, but here people look at me funny and answer the question seriously.

NOT SATAN.

This man stands on the corner of the main crossroads in town quite often at weekends.  His sandwich-board says "JESUS IS LORD NOT SATAN" and the placard in his hand says "PRAY & VOTE".  It is such a very specific message in both cases that you almost feel he is trying to communicate with a particular person with whom he has had a violent difference of opinion.

When I took this photo for the express purpose of posting it, Doc C said I should pixelate the face.  Fortunately we were quite some distance away, and my camera took care of that automatically.

Not Exactly a Taste of Home.

A British themed pub has opened in town, and so naturally one of Doc's colleagues picked up a menu for me when they went in there.  It starts off strong by labeling itself "Pub Grub" and a cursory glance at the names of the dishes seems to indicate all is well.  However, a closer reading of the descriptions of the food has worried me.

I'm hopeful that the fish and chips will be ok; but the "Black Blue and Bacon" is a hamburger with cheese and bacon served on an English Muffin.  What kind of madness is this?  Equally the Ploughman's Special is "Your choice of roast beef or turkey stacked high on our fresh baked bread with cheese, onions, lettuce, tomato and mayo served with English chips." Mayo?  What the hell is MAYO doing anywhere near something calling itself a Ploughmans?  Where is the Branston Pickle, or even pickled onions?

And that's just the Pub Grub standards - I haven't even mentioned "Cambridge Chicken Caesar" which is a normal Caesar salad with a poached egg on top, or the "Wings over Britain" which are chicken wings served with celery and bleu cheese dipping sauce.  I wouldn't call myself an expert on the regional cuisines of all of England, there are many things I may not have tried, but these two things are news to me.

There is a possibility that I'm being overly critical here, particularly as I haven't been anywhere near the place yet, but I'm sure you can see my concerns here.

Belated Rudolph Viewing.

A couple of years ago Doc C was very sad to learn I had never seen "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" (1964), which although it is an American TV classic, I'm not aware of ever being shown in the UK.  You can now get the puppets as toys and Christmas decorations, plus it gets referenced in various ad campaigns, Tv shows and pop videos.

We missed it's 2009 TV screening, so he added it to our Netflix queue and it arrived today.  We may have already taken down our tree, but at least the weather is still appropriate.  It was very sweet (although the mid-sixties sexual politics are cringe worthy in places), but I am going to have "We're a Couple of Misfits" stuck in my head for weeks now.

The Giving of Thanks.

It's Thanksgiving!  Which I like to think of a trial run for Christmas, as far as the competitive eating part of it goes.

Things I am grateful for (Because that's what I'm s'posed to write about today, right?)

• My lovely Mum being so lovely.
• Doc C being a sweetheart
• Nancy's little chirps of happiness
• Edith liking to sit on my feet
• Co-incidence and strange happenstance
• Tea
• Books
• That Mono goes away eventually
• The internet
• Nutella

Yep, that just about covers it I think.

A Big Bowl of Halloween

Doc C took me into the office for a couple of hours today, and then I came home to sleep whilst he went food shopping.  Before he left I said something about maybe getting some Halloween sweets, and when he came back he had a whole carrier bag full.  I laughed, and told him I hadn't meant him to go quite that crazy, and he was all "What? This is nothing, this is the bare minimum!" and then ate 14 Almond Joys.*

As was clearly required if only for blog posting purposes, I immediately had to take some photos, so I set the bowl up next to my huge volume of Poe and a nice candle-in-a-storm-lantern.  As you will probably observe my career in product placement is already over before it had any opportunity to begin; almost all of the logos in this picture are either upside down or partially obscured.

_{* Footnote regarding Chocolate for British Readers:}

_{Almond Joy are like Bounty bars, but with an almond perched on top of the coconut.  They're nice!  If you really want to approximate a Bounty whilst here, then you need to look for Mounds; which ironically do not have as much of a mound because they don't have the almond on top.  American chocolate naming conventions are most peculiar.  For example what we would think of as a Milky Way is called a Three Musketeers over here, and how does that make any sense at all?  It only has TWO components - The fluffy stuff in the middle and the chocolate, so where does the third Musketeer come into it?  Has he nipped out for a bit?  Oh, and I have no idea what an American Milky Way is like, but I am pleased to say that Kitkats are exactly the same over here, which is very reassuring.  Actually the thing I'm most surprised to be unable to find here is a Dime bar, I mean how American sounding a product is that?  The closest I've found is a Heath Bar, but it's not quite the same texture of brittle toffee and the chocolate also needs some work in my opinion.}

HUGE Insect Photo Segues into Children's Literary Allusion.

On the way to the car this evening we encountered a large caterpillar when Doc nearly trod on it.

I'm used to caterpillars in England being relatively small, but this thing was ENORMOUS.   To give you some idea, I took a photo with my hand in the shot for scale and it's only slightly smaller my index finger.  I'd have posted that shot, but this was a bug on a mission and he was moving so fast that I didn't have time to position my hand next to it and get a nice clear picture before the insect undulated out of focus.

This was definitely the best picture I got, but it doesn't convey the sense of urgency with which the caterpillar was moving.  It was as if the Caterpillar and the White Rabbit had swapped roles for the day, and that meant that our Caterpillar friend was late for an important function, whilst the White Rabbit got to chill out on top of a toadstool with a nice hookah pipe for once.  I know, I know, it's a bit lazy to immediately reach for the Lewis Carrol reference, but this thing was so over-sized I could easily have imagined Alice having quite a long chat with him.

Fireworks, Friends and Smores.

Yesterday evening ended up being totally different to my initial plans, but we had a lot of fun!  The weather turned out to be really nice, so our friends called to say they were going to come a bit later so they could watch the fireworks from the parkway.

Well that sounded like fun, so we decided to join them.  We sat in the middle of a meadow, watching coloured explosions rocketing over the tree line on the mountains, which was very pretty.  I just wish I'd put on a few more layers, because by the time the display was over my toes felt like ice cubes.

Then we came back to the house and made smores, lots of smores!  Yay! Happy Fourth indeed!

Smores are Tasty.

After dinner this evening I made smores. To an American no further explanation is necessary, but I'd never had one before we moved here so I thought I'd write a brief how to guide.

1. Carefully toast a marshmallow on a skewer.
2. Sandwich the warm melted fluff with a square of chocolate between two halves of a graham cracker (which is sort of like a oblong digestive).
3. Eat it.
4. Repeat.

It's the most fun to make them with a group of friends after a nice meal, but today felt like a particularly long Monday at work so I decided to make a couple. Whilst Doc watched back-to-back episodes of "Star Trek: TNG", I went out to the balcony to make myself two smores.  It was nice to eat a crunchy gooey sweet messy thing, whilst I listened to the frogs bellowing at each other and watched fireflies flitting around the trees.

Lovely.

Class of '09

This morning we went to our friend Jasmine's high school graduation, which was particularly exciting for me because we don't have graduation ceremonies like this in the UK.  My school had speech day, which the whole school had to attend every year and it was very very dull indeed.  We didn't get to dress up in caps and gowns or anything!

This being a completely new experience for me, I was very interested in all of the details.  Such as the music playing.

Why on earth is the music for American high school graduations Elgar's "Pomp and Circumstance"? Which is better known to most British people as "Land of Hope and Glory" and is essentially extolling the virtues of the mighty British empire.  Isn't that a bit of a weird choice?

Anyway...

There were speeches by four of the students, which tended towards the starry eyed, but had the virtue of brevity.  I particularly like the speech that used turtles burying their hatches of eggs as a metaphor for the high school experience.  Which made today the day that the senior hatchlings finally nosed their way out of the sand!

Then every single senior, all 350 of them, walked across the stage to collect their diplomas.  For the audience the high point was obviously when their own special student walked, so the fact that our girl was first was gratifying but meant we then had 349 we didn't give two hoots about.  Which was actually not a problem, because there was more than enough hooting, whooping and setting off of air horns to go around.  All of which was strictly prohibited on the program, but was clearly expected.

The photos above shows the iconic moment of graduation when the caps are thrown in the air at the end, it looked like blue popcorn going off.  I'm particularly impressed by that blue blob way above the students, which is someone's cap!  Afterwards Jasmine told me that they had been askd not to do that, because the caps are actually really heavy and last year two students had their noses broken by flying caps.  Fortunately this year there appeared to be no casualties from the frivolity.

When the ceremony was over, we found Jasmine and mobbed her.  She was probably the only student there whose guests included nine professors from the university they will be attending in the new semester.  I was also very taken with the tassel on her hat because she had swapped the boring standard issue one out for something with a bit of sparkle to it.  Jasmine and I are on very much the same wavelength when it comes to shiny things.

Then we went back to Laura and Randy's to see Jasmine open her presents (ours hasn't been made yet, but she knows what she's getting!), and eat ice cream cake.  The tiny cap on the cake was made from a square of dark chocolate on top of a miniature peanut butter cup.  Adorable and tasty! 

 (It was a very interesting and fun day, but I need a nap now.  Mainly because we went to bed quite late last night assuming we could sleep in this morning, only to be woken up by what I thought was the cats but turned out to be workman fixing next doors roof.  At 7am.  On a freaking Saturday.  Ugh!)

Weather Report.

Yesterday it started out sunny and warm, until mid-afternoon when a big thunderstorm rolled in.  It wasn't just a thunderstorm though, it was hailing!  I twittered about it, although when I re-read that tweet it makes almost no sense, but I forgot to mention it to Doc.

Today, when I was at work, Doc C phoned me to tell me that there was a hail storm at the house.  The hail stones were about the size of a pea, bouncing off the roof and covering the balcony.  Wow.

By the time the heart of the storm reached my office all the hail had gone, but the heavy rain more than made up for that.  It was just unbelievable!  Umbrellas where of no use whatsoever, and when Doc came to pick me up he made sure to bring a towel with him.  Driving home we saw the stream that runs through campus making serious pretensions to being a river, and not all the flowers along the banks will be there in the morning.

Hmmm?  The photo?  Oh that's from the beach at P-Town.  I set up a little shady spot under my paper parasol, read my vintage Nancy Drew and it was all very pleasant.  It wasn't as dramatic as a thunderstorm, with freaking pea sized hail, but it was nice enough I suppose.

Good Source of Fiber.

I never cease to be amazed about which foods I can find here and which I can't.

For example I have only been able to find one specialist place that sells blackcurrant jam, and nowhere at all that stocks rhubarb yogurt; but I can get Dorset Cereals.  I first bought this brand when I was leaving in Brighton, mainly because of the gorgeous packaging; but it turns out they actually make a very tasty muesli.

I am very excited about breakfast now.

Doc C: The Thinking Woman's Crumpet.

When I moved to North Carolina in October 2007 I knew things would be different, and I was somewhat prepared for that; but whilst there are things you can acclimatise to and things that you can import, there are other things that it is very hard to accept are lost to you.

I speak of crumpets.

There are few things as cautiously flavourful, and with such a satisfying texture, as a good crumpet.  Piping hot, dripping with salty butter and accompanied by a good strong cup of tea they are simply delicious.  And impossible to get here.  Oh, I after some trial and error I discovered a half way decent English muffin, and you can easily get PG Tips, but crumpets still alluded me; so naturally crumpets were what I really really wanted.

Today Doc C has successfully made me crumpets. 

The Doc is such a sweet and modest man that all he asks by way of thanks was "big post props" which he later specified should also be "Poetic".  He also wishes that I convey to my Mother just how well her daughter is being cared for, even if she is several thousand miles away from a branch of M&S.  I'm sure you will agree this is only fair and proper.

I would post a picture of the deliciousness, but frankly my camera was upstairs and the hot crumpets, fresh from the griddle, were downstairs.  Would you really expect a woman who has not eaten crumpets in over eighteen months to postpone that reunion for the sake of documentary evidence?  Of course not!

Anyway, Doc made loads!  I'll take some photos tomorrow, after work when I'm enjoying a hot cup of tea and a plate of crumpets.  I think I may spread marmite on them, and then put some slices of good sharp cheddar on top and then grill (American translation: broil) them until the cheese is bubbly, and the marmite has sunk through the deliciously spongey layers.  I almost can't wait, maybe I'll just have that for dinner and go for a new household record in carb consumption in a single 24 hour period.

Yum.

My Plans for a Long Weekend at Home.

This being Easter weekend I have four days off (although I was told it isn't called Easter Weekend officially because the "separation of church and state" means it cannot be referred to that.  Later in the day I saw news footage reporting with horror that President Obama has not been to church since being in office.) and naturally because it's a public holiday the weather is predicted to be awful. 

That's ok though, because none of my intended activities for the weekend require fine weather.  So far I have planned an intensive program of:

• reading,
• crocheting,
• catching up on TV,
• making a fuss of the cats,
• playing video games. 

These tasks will be broken up by some serious napping, and I shall also be requiring Doc C to dig out the recipe for hot cross buns, so that I can snack appropriately.  But in the meantime, I think I need to go to bed and watch "Numb3rs" before having a good night's sleep. 

I've already turned my alarm off.

And Every Single Snowflake Is Different.

As I mentioned yesterday there was quite a bit of snow, and it carried on snowing for most of the evening.  Doc C looked at it thoughtfully, checked our fridge and then valiantly headed out into the freezing cold to forage for nuts and berries at the nearest supermarket.  Once he got back with provisions, we began to joke about getting snowed in, but carried on with our usual Sunday routine.

The idea of a snow day clearly stayed at the back of my mind, until about three o'clock this morning when I woke myself up, because I was so excited at the prospect of a snow day.  I had to get up and look out of the window.

It was still snowing!  Yay!

It was exactly like Christmas eve when I was small, I lay in bed wide awake and could not go back to sleep because of the anticipation.  Thank goodness I had my iPod to check the university web-page every half hour, because otherwise I would have driven Doc absolutely crazy.  As it was the poor man had to put up with me asking him if he was asleep every so often, when I couldn't contain my excitement at the thought of spending a Monday at home.

At around 4:30 I came downstairs to play with the cats (who were delighted to see me, they never get early morning attention usually), and I camped out on the sofa with the outside light on so I could watch the snow falling.

It wasn't until 6 that Father Christmas, in the guise of the university administration, finally announced that classes would be cancelled for the whole day, which means I don't have to go to work! 

Of course the state requires that I make up the time at a later date, or trade some holiday or comp time for it, which I think is outrageous, but still!  An extra day to lounge around at home!  I might even be able to finish the Mystery Crochet Project today, if I do the picture posts will be cryptic photo clues until someone guesses what it is (or I accept that nobody wants the thing and move on).

I will also be reading Questionable Content, which is a web comic I was directed to by Cute Overload after Jeph name-checked Teh Cute.  I went right back to the start and I've been reading the archives, which I am enjoying immensely (Jon B - I think you would enjoy this a lot, it has fabulously feisty indie and goth girls as main characters!)

Baked Goods and Ex-Pats.

Whilst picking up lunch yesterday (we both had a slice of focaccia with mushrooms and thyme, I had a cup of green tea and Doc C had a oatmeal and raisin cookie) I was chatting to one of the lovely women who works at our favourite bakery about an order for an event I'm organising.  As I was doing that a woman and her daughter came in to get coffee, they heard my voice and the mother said "Hello! Did I hear a British accent?"

It turned out that she was also British, and had been here for thirty years.  She still hadn't picked up the accent, which I was pleased to note!  She gave me her phone number because she's going back and forth to the UK fairly often at the moment, and she said if there is anything we want from the UK to let her know and she will see what she can do.  Doc C immediately mentioned McVities Caramels, the man knows his priorities.

The Finest Marmite Known to Man.

We haven't had a supermarket post for ages have we?  Let's fix that!

As you can see this is a photo of a shelf displaying, for want of a better term, fancy goods.  On the left we have lumpfish caviar (black and red), pate, tinned snails, liver pate, eggplant appetizer (that would really be aubergine of course) and finally marmite.

Of course I am always delighted to take note of supermarkets that sell my beloved yeast extract, because otherwise what would I put on my toast?  However, please note that this would be the smallest jar of marmite available in the UK, and it is more expensive then any of these other delicacies with the exception of only the black lumpfish caviar.

It's little things like this that make me feel as though I am through the looking-glass sometimes.

I Sense... That Nancy... Wants More Food...

When we were in the pet shop the other day buying the cats some stuff, I noticed a little business card holder buy the till.  There is one particularly pet sitting service that all of our friends who own cats swear by, and I can never remember what they are called, so I keep an eye out for their business card (that sounds weird, how can I keep an eye out for a business if I don't know which business I want?  But whenever I hear the name I recognise it, so that would work).

Anyway, I was drawn to the card for an Animal Communicator, which I took and put in my wallet so I could ponder it later.  I went to the website and it turns out that the animal communication is done psychically, so actually consultations are three-way phone conversations between the animal, the psychic animal communicator and the owner.

I would love to know what Nancy and Edith think about, and how they see their relationship with us.  I'm pretty sure I can guess, but it would be great to hear a psychic commune with Piggy Big-Eyes and confirm that she hates having set meal times, and that she doesn't understand why Edith is always chasing her.  Personally I think Edith is very conflicted, because on the one hand she is a young cat and responds in a very kittenish way to many things but on the other hand she has had kittens herself and was apparently a good mother.  So sometimes she's quite maternal towards Nancy, she'll snuggle up to her and sometimes wash behind her ears, but then she'll suddenly feel like chasing something and Nancy is just so convenient for that.

I have to say though that I am somewhat sceptical about this service, mainly because on the business card the website address is misspelled.  If that's the level of human-to-human communication, which one would imagine would be the most straightfoward part of the equation, I don't think it bodes well.

deLicious.

Just before I came down with the flu I got my Girl Scout Cookies.  I'd ordered a box of Thin Mint and a box of Caramel deLites, although not having been a girl scout myself I was foolishly spelling those as Delights.

I thought the Caramel deLites were ok, and I liked the Thin Mints, but Doc C really liked the Caramel deLites and ate three quarters of the box.

So it was lucky there was an adorable moppet, with her mother, selling Girl Scout Cookies outside the local hardware superstore at the weekend.  Doc C invested in two more boxes, and we still have one of those left!  Which is very restrained of him, don't you think?

A Different Lurgey.

I've put myself to bed early because I feel unwell again.  One of my colleagues told me a while back that for the first year he and his wife were in town they caught every bug going because their immune system hadn't previously encountered the hardy strain of germs that live up in the mountains.

I like that theory, but I've been here for 16 months now: Come on Immune System, get with the program!

Anyway, I can't think of anything funny to say, and I didn't take any photos today; so here is a picture of Edith lying on her back and waving her paws in the air, as if she just doesn't care.  Don't be fooled, this is her ploy to get people to rub her tummy so she can rabbit kick them.  That's hilarious to Edith.

Apart from the belly thing, she's quite a relaxed cat, and just look how glossy her fur is, her paws look like silver!

Also, yes, we actually did deliberately chose the blanket that would clash most horribly with the sofa.  We honestly stood in Kmart looking at the fleece blankets in the Martha Stewart Everyday collection and discussed which would be the loudest clash.  The cats adore that blanket.

It's A Big World After All.

For the most part I like Americans; in fact, to paraphrase Victor Kiam, I like them so much, I married one!  However (please, you knew that was coming), there is a tendency for some Americans to believe that the United States of America is the entire world.  I was reminded of this when I saw an TV advert for the Superbowl, which used the phrase "The World's Most Popular Sporting Event" without a whiff of irony, despite the fact only America competes in it.  I mean, really!  There are so many events which are competed in by sportsman from around the world, but the Superbowl is frankly not one of them.

It's a bit like when we went to the hardware store in November, and we started chatting to one of the guys who worked there.  I asked how the day after Thanksgiving had been for them, because over here that is when people go insane and try to do all of their Christmas shopping.  He said it had been busy, and then he very matter-of-factly said that it was "known all over the world as Black Friday", because it was such a major shopping day.  Hmmm, I hate to be rude, but I actually came from somewhere else in the world, and the only Black Friday I had ever heard of, previous to living in the US, was when the stock market crashed in the 80s.  The Black Friday shopping frenzy is not a worldwide phenomenon, no Toys-R-Us workers were trampled to death in Swindon on that day last year I can assure you.

This is also one of the things I've always found bizarre about the Roman Polanski case, because he skipped the country before his trial for sex with a minor, there is still a warrant out for his arrest in the US.  This means he can never come back (well he could, but he'd be arrested), and the way some Americans talk about that you'd think it was worse than death, in fact they nearly always use the term exile.  I always think this is most odd, because Polanski has been living and working in Paris, and has been perfectly happy with that arrangement for 30 odd years.  Paris is really quite lovely you know, even if it isn't part of the Land of the Free.

Gosh.  Rant over.  Clearly I've been holding that one in for a while now!

Inauguration Day.

I am watching the Inauguration on-line, via the BBC website, purely because I can't get any of the others to open I think they are totally overloaded with viewers.  As it is the sound is really good, but the pictures are timing out like mad.

Still it's pretty impressive, I can watch/listen to history being made at work, and blog about it at the same time.

*Update*  I worked out that if I used the pop out viewer that it streams a lot better, so I saw the whole inauguration and President Obama's first speech.  Hoorah!

Two To Be Taken Once Daily.

It has snowed all day today, which is very pretty, but it did mean we had to allow extra time to do everything.  I had a doctor's appointment this morning, because I haven't seen a doctor in at least two years so I needed to have a check up and get some advice on a couple of things.

My new doctor was recommended by a friend and I actually had made an appointment for the first week of January, but I hadn't specified which doctor I wanted to see, so I was assigned to the other GP at the practice.  Which was fine with me, until I met the other doctor at a party over Christmas and, what with one thing and another, I just did not get a warm fuzzy about her.  I didn't actually put two and two together until the morning of my appointment, when I checked the surgery website for directions, and then realised who it was that I would be seeing.  This is one of the perils of living in a small town. 
Well I don't know about you, but I don't really want a doctor who I don't feel comfortable with, however petty that may sound; so I phoned the surgery and asked if I could reschedule with the doctor who had been recommended to me in the first place and that's who I saw today.  I am delighted to say that she is very nice indeed; and I also really liked that the exam table is heated!  What luxury!  I have to go back in a month to check back in.

I also took in the chest x-ray that I had taken when I went for my visa medical, the one I was told to bring with me and that was such a pain in the backside to transport.  I handed it over to the doctor and she had a look at it, said everything was absolutely fine, but really no idea why she would need to keep it; so I brought home again.  I think it shall become art at some stage.

Cookie Season.

Girl Scout Cookies?

We don't have these in the UK, but when an order form was produced in the office by a Girl Scout dad all of my colleagues cheered and I was very earnestly told I must try them.  Any advice?  I'm leaning towards Mint Thins, because I read the nutritional information for all of them and you get 4 Mint Thins to a serving of 160 calories, but the Peanut Butter Patties sound nice too and there's one that apparently involves coconut which I am all for.

And yes the calorie counting is going well, thank you.  Why do you ask?

You Say Tomato, and That is Fine.

It's an Aubergine.
I hate having to say Eggplant.

2009! Let's Go!

Hello, and Welcome to 2009!  If you will look to your right you will note the new NaBloPoMo badges in the sidebar; one announcing that I successfully blogged everyday in December, and the other indicating that I fully intend to do the same thing in January!

So far every time I've put those buttons up in the sidebar I have had a small panic because I can never remember how I did it last time, but when I put the new ones up this morning I couldn't find the instructions and I just worked it out for myself.  Hoorah for trial and error!

Other projects for this year include learning to drive on the wrong side of the road, crocheting a creepy/cute amigurami, and making a short video of Edith to record one of her more eccentric but definitely charming habits.  We shall have to see if she feels like performing to command, but since she adores getting any sort of attention I am fairly confident she will.

Today I plan to get to know my new phone better (I will be posting the story behind how I finally got it, but I didn't want to start the new year on a rant), and maybe try to work out a way of making my own non obnoxious ring tones.  So there will be a lot of tinny electronic music in my house today, which will absolutely delight Edith if no-one else.  My favourite ever phone let me record a sound-bite with it, and then set that as a ring tone, so I had Fred Astaire tap dancing as my ring tone for ages.  I can also highly recommend having the sound of the TARDIS as your ring tone, which I downloaded it from the BBC website, but I'm not sure if you can outside of the UK.  That was a great ring tone because every time my phone rang people would literally stop in their tracks and look around hopefully, it was as if for one split second they believed Dr Who might be real.  Which would be brilliant!

What's Making Me Yell At The Television This Week!

There is a new tv ad campaign for Burger King Whoppers that I loath and detest. True I don't need to physically cover my ears and close my eyes like I do when the Mast General Store ad comes on (the woman in that is unbearably patronising), but each time it appears I have to voice my disdain.

The premise of the ad is that Burger King scouted the world for people who lived in communities so remote that they had never eaten a burger. Many of these people are shown wearing picturesque national costume to fully illustrate their "Otherness".

Burger King representatives, with the help of a translator, then conduct a taste test between a Whopper and a Big Mac (how they are supposed to have obtained freshly cooked examples in such a remote location is never explained. Are we to infer they brought the blind tasters to America?). They report that these "Whopper Virgins" (Their phrase, not mine) typically prefer the Whopper.

I have several issues with this, but let's just stick to the main ones. First of all the gradual global dominance of burger chains is something to be feared for numerous reasons, not least because they are typically providing a low quality of nutrition with high calorie and I think we all know that's not a good thing. In fact you could argue that introducing people from indigenous cultures to, not just the burger itself, but actually two burgers on a bun smothered with cheese and sauce is almost irresponsible. "Hi there! Can I interest you in clinical obesity?"

However, even whilst I'm thinking all of that politically correct righteous indignation about the exploitation of third world civilisations to sell a damn hamburger, ironically, the aspect that really annoys me the most is the idea that someone who has never eaten a burger before is the best person to perform a taste test on them. What the hell do they know? Their palate is totally untrained! Why should their opinion impress me?

As I said it's an advert that I have some strong opinions on. Mostly unfavourable, but surprisingly complicated.

Crackers.

Last night we went to the local Thai restaurant to have dinner with friends from Doc C's department.  Usually at these sort of things it's only possibly to get a few people together at one time, but last night there was a great turn out and we had to keep adding tables to get enough seating.

Even better Kim and Jill had brought Christmas Crackers!  These are sufficiently unusual here that I had to explain how to use them; "Hold on to the end bits and pull! " I could have added to then put on the hat, read out the joke and commencing swapping the presents around, but everyone seemed to work that out for themselves.

It was really fun!  I got a pen, which I swapped with Doc for a little round purse, which then fitted Laura's silver yo-yo so perfectly that she insisted I have it.  So I did very well! 
I hadn't really tried to get crackers myself over here, only because it seemed so unlikely that I would find them, but they are one of the things that really make Christmas for me.

Funnily enough I was asked the other day what Christmas traditions my family had, and I said none. This was clearly disappointing to the person who asked me, I think she was expecting that I say we dress up in hoop skirts and bonnets to go caroling before midnight mass, but really we never did that.  Because we did not live in Dickensian England, mainly because that was over a hundred years ago and was, you know, fictional and stuff (end of rant). 
When I was a child Mum would decorate, we always had a lovely tree and then ate really well on Christmas day; but none of that was really what I'd call  a tradition.  It just seemed fun!

 Not being at home again for Christmas I have been determined to have some of the things I take for granted at Christmas in England, like mince pies; and whilst I may not be able to find a proper Christmas cake, I can now cross Crackers off the list.  Excellent!

"No Charge Mr Torrence. Your Money is No Good Here"

I turned on the TV and found that A&E was showing "The Shining" (1980).  I find it very odd that films like this can be screened so early in the day, but that's fine with me; broad day light is much my preferred time to watch horror movies.

The really odd part is that they are showing the dismembered bodies of the little girls in blue dresses, and that horrible river of blood in the hallway but every time there is a naked woman on screen her breasts are air-brushed out.  Because guts and gore are fine at 2 in the afternoon, but heaven forbid anyone see a nipple.  Most peculiar.

"The Shining" is a great film though, I've been meaning to re-watch it recently and I have to say watching it 3000 feet up a mountain during a light snow flurry has a certain frisson to it.  I am also increasingly of the opinion that The Overlook is a gorgeous hotel, and I would love to stay in hotel like that but with less demonic possession (or whatever is supposed to be happening).

Traditional British Festive Baking.

One odd thing that I have noticed is that Americans don't make mince pies, but that you can get mincemeat in most supermarkets.

I didn't have any mince pies last Christmas, but this year I have bought a jar of mincemeat and I will be making my own.  They may not be M&S luxury mince pies, but it'll be fun to make them, I haven't done that since I was a kid.  I actually bought some star shaped cookie cutters last week, with no particular purpose in mind, and they are different sizes so I think I'll use one to make star-shaped lids for the pies.

The first batch will be a trial run of half a dozen for Doc and I, so I think I might add a splash of whiskey to the mincemeat, but the next lot are for a staff meeting so I'll keep those tee total.  We don't want a lot of squiffy university staff going back to the office after lunch.

Any top mince pie tips?  Rowie K, I know your the poster girl for mince pies this year so I'm looking at you!

My Second Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving was really fun, Kim and Jill are great hostesses and there was a fantastic selection of food and drink.  We played board games between the main course and dessert (Doc's Pumpkin and Bourbon Cheesecake went an absolute storm), but I still had to lie on the floor for a bit, because I was so full of good food.

The party wound down around Midnight and we all set off home, our route took us past one of the local shopping plazas and the car park was crammed full of cars.  People were already shopping.  I understand that the Friday after Thanksgiving is a big shopping day in the run up for Christmas, but I can't quite believe that it actually started at Midnight.  We've avoided the whole thing, because Doc C isn't big on shopping and I'm not big on crowds.  I'm just so grateful that I don't work in a shop because that would have been awful today.

However we do need to go shopping this weekend because Doc C fell in love with the tiniest Christmas tree in the world, and had to buy it.  Now we have the tree I can officially start decorating, and according to Martha I am woefully ill prepared.  Where is my hot glue gun?  Where are my doilies?

iPod Wallpaper - Portrait of Churchill.

One of the many joys of the iPod is choosing what wallpaper to have.  I've only had it a week, but I have changed the wallpaper every day, sometimes twice if I feel like it.  I was directed by the ever stylish Swiss Miss to Poolga which is a website full of free iPod wallpapers by a collective of designers, where I downloaded about a dozen images that I liked.

Then my friend Jonny suggested I look up Peruvian Figural Sculpture on the Boston Museum of Fine Arts website, which I did.  Then I poked around their website for a bit, which is where I found this particularly fine portrait of Winston Churchill looking as though he is about to say something very rude to the damn fool photographer.

Churchill was my iPod wallpaper on Friday, and I think I might just put him back up for a bit.  It's odd, but the longer I live in America the more I want to embellish my immediate surroundings with little bits of Britishness.  And you cannot get more British than Churchill really, and if you tried you'd probably do yourself a mischief so let's just all relax and simply admire Churchill's technique here.

Actually, now I think of it, my friend Sarah used to have a great photo of Trevor Howard over her desk.  It was a carefully posed portrait shot, but apparently no one had noticed that his v-neck jumper had a tiny moth hole in it.  That would make a particularly pleasing iPod wallpaper, I must see if I can track it down somewhere on line.  Right now.

The Wednesday That Felt More Like A Saturday.

We're having a very nice start to the long weekend; later we will be going to see "Quantum of Solace" with friends, but right now we are just enjoying having some time at home.

I tidied the living room & I'm now perusing the Christmas edition of Martha Stewart magazine. I feel quite distinctly in need of a hot glue gun, a bone folder ( I have no clue what that is, but Martha uses it for all the more interesting paper projects), a range of glitter and at least one pack of paper doilies.

Doc C is baking a pumpkin cheesecake for us to take to Kim and Jill's tomorrow. Last year's photo essay of the process is still quite accurate, except he bought pre-crumbed graham crackers this year, and this one will have a top layer of sour cream and bourbon.

The cats are both sleeping; Edith on the sofa, Nancy on the coffee table (which isn't ideal, but I'm letting her get away with it for now).

It's all very pleasant.

Dr. Pepper's For All!

So Guns 'n Roses released their long awaited new album today.  In all honesty I can't say that this is an event that I would have paid that much attention to normally; however Dr. Pepper's promised to provide all of America (with the exception of Slash and Buckethead, because they are "estranged" from the group apparently) with a can of their delicious beverage if G'nR managed to actually release the album before the end of 2008.  I don't drink fizzy caffeinated soft drinks very often, but when I do my preference is for Dr. Peppers, so I am somewhat interested now.

Well the band did it, so Dr. Pepper's are honouring the promise, and by the way what the hell were the circumstances behind that one?  It's such an odd thing for them to say they would do in the first place, isn't it?  Why would they care?  And who said it?  And why?

Anyway to get the drink you have to register your name and address on their website within 24 hours of the album having been released, and they will send you a voucher. 

Except I can't register. 

I went to the website, and I clicked on the tiny link at the bottom that just said "Free Dr. Pepper", and up came a registration form.  So I filled it in and submitted, but I just got an error message.  I've tried three times now, it's very annoying.  Especially as the countdown clock tells me I only have 7 hours left in which to register!  Damn it!

Snowbunny.

I grew up in East Anglia, which is famous in the U.K. for being flat.  So living on a mountain is really weird for me sometimes, and I can't get used to the abrupt changes in weather.

Yesterday it snowed all day and there must have been at least an inch and a half on the ground by the end of the day.  Today it was still chilly, but there was a blue sky and bright sunshine so by 11am there was very little snow left on the ground.  The only way you would have known about yesterday's white out, if you hadn't actually been here, was the occasional snow man built by the students.

This mini snowbunny was my favourite.

 

Pro Love, Anti Hate.

We had a terrible time trying to find a parking space today because there is a big football game in town, but we managed to get to the library where the pro-gay marriage march was assembling in time for me to make a banner.  In the end I went with lots of red love hearts, partly inspired by the lovely necklace Jason sent to me as part of my birthday package (I also got Malteasers, cake decorations and a bag of assorted fabulous sequins!  All of it wrapped up in the most gorgeous paper!  Yay for birthday surprises!) I also wrapped a small hot pink feather boa around the handle, which helped to make it comfortable but was mainly because, hello, it was a hot pink feather boa!  That's my kind of protesting!

We marched in a circular route around the town which took about an hour and a half.  For the most part we got lots of smiles and thumbs up, with just one or two people expressing their disagreement with our views.  It was actually really quite fun!

It did start to rain towards the end, so I was glad to get home, which is when we discovered that Edith is pro gay marriage too.  She really loved my banner, and kept rubbing up against it.

Unfortunately she was so enthusiastic about the sign that she pushed it over on top of Nancy, who survived unscathed but presumably less keen on protest signs than our little fluffy radical.

We're Here, We're Straight, We Support Gay Marriage! Get Used To It!

Tomorrow Doc C and I are planning on joining the local protest against Prop 8, apparently there will be co-ordinated protests all over the country to demonstrate a national feeling of dismay that this bill passed.

We're not really sure what our banners will say, but Doc has suggested "Straight, Married and Unaffected" where as I am leaning towards "Breeders For Gay Marriage!", but I'm not sure either really captures what we are trying to say fully. 
It's somewhat like trying to work out what to engrave on the back of one's iPod, except a lot more socially responsible.

Voting in North Carolina.

It's been over twenty four hours since the North Carolina polls closed, and the result hasn't been called yet.

The count was so close that it has to be recounted by hand several times, which sounds like no fun at all as well as being incredibly tedious.  And we are talking about 4, 232,615 votes here.  I don't envy the voting officials one bit.

Election Night. Freaking Finally.

In case you didn't know tonight is the Presidential election here in the USA.  That means after today they might just stop talking about it for eighteen months or so before it all starts again.  It's ridiculous!  How long do people campaign for in the UK?  It feels to me as though they just put out adverts the week before, but I'm sure that's just rose coloured spectacles because this has been so over the top.

We are having people over to our house, and have purchased champagne to celebrate if Obama wins, and Pabst Blue Ribbon to drown our sorrows in if McCain wins.

Doc C is making a pecan pie, and some pizzas.  I totally failed to make an elephant shaped pinata, but I have decattified the living room.  There are no food bowls, scratching posts, stray fur, or cat toys in sight, because they are in our bedroom with the cats.  We thought that would be less stressful for the felines; and as Nancy had to be forced into a pet carrier today to go to the vets, where she was given a steroid muscle injection, I think the less stress for her the better.  Plus she still looks terrible still, and I am vain on her behalf.

So this time tomorrow we will know who is the next President of the United States.  Let's all keep our fingers crossed.

Things That Go Bump in the Night.

Tonight the students who live in the dorms above my office were staging Dorm of Doom, in the lobby of our offices.  I helped them set it all up this afternoon, then I came back to take some photos and listen to the creepy stories about the building.  The tableaux worked pretty well, and I was really pleased with how much fun the performers seemed to be having.  The evil scientist hadn't known that she needed to bring a costume, so I cut an apron out of a paper table cloth, and then we splattered it with red food dye.  It looked horrible effective, particularly when paired with the brain in a jar (or, maybe, it was actually cauliflower floating in red water).

I was really pleased that a lot of the students who came for the ghost stories had come in their Halloween costumes and they had a costume contest which was really fun.  In third place was a very good home-made Anne Boleyn costume, in second place was Alf Alfa and the winning costume was essentially a hospital gown worn over the top of a paper mache bottom.  Apparently the winner had been crafting the bum for weeks, and it was really effective.

After the prizes had been given out, and everyone had got their hot chocolate the ghost stories began. 

The stories that explain the origin of the ghost are pretty much the old stand-by creepy story about a girl who fell hopelessly in love with a professor, and then killed herself.  There is a delightful variation involving an unplanned pregnancy, but generally the message is "Don't have sex kids!", as with all classic slasher movies.  My favourite part was the repeated assertion that the building was so old, my guess is that it was built in the fifties at the earliest, but there was talk of the civil war!  Not to mention that apparently our building was built in the centre of a pentagon!  Good thing it wasn't built in the middle of a dodecahedron, eh?

Funny? Ha Ha?

Tonight Barack Obama will be the guest, via video link, on "The Daily Show With Jon Stewart" at 11 (central).

I was trying to think of a British equivalent, but it appears that currently the only intersection between British comedy and politics is when the Prime Minister comments on "inappropriate  and unacceptable behaviour" by comedians who actually think prank phone calls to a 78 year old man are funny.

sigh.

And even worse the matted hair buffoon is starting to break America. So I have to keep explaining that yes he's popular, but no he's not what I would call the cream of current British comedy.

She'll Bite Your Head Off.

I forgot to post this picture that I took a couple of weeks ago. 

Because, you know, I'm getting so blase about see Praying Mantises about the place.

Why Living in a Swing State is Great for Celeb Spotting!

This evening my department had an event for the students, so I stayed late and then headed over to the library to catch a film in the queer film series "Saving Face" (which is not the point of this post, so I'll just say here it was a really terrific romantic comedy and I enjoyed it very much.  It's out on DVD, so rent it now!).

It was snowing a bit, so I cut through the Student Union and as I was rushing along the corridor I saw a man walking the other way who looked exactly like Carver from "The Wire".

Which was because it was Seth Gilliam who played Carver in "The Wire".

Oh.  My.  God.

I actually stopped dead in my tracks and blurted out "I love your work!".  Bless his heart, Mr Gilliam stopped to shake my hand and talk to me, he was a very nice man!  When I asked what the hell he was doing in North Carolina he explained that he was here campaigning for Barack Obama; and that Gbenga Akinnagbe and Sonja Sohn who played Chris and Kima where here too.

And they were!  In a meeting room next to the bookshop!  I called Doc C and as soon as he answered I said "Carver,Chris&KimaFromTheWireAreInTheStudentUnion!!!"  "What?" "Carver, Chris & Kima from "The Wire" are in the student union!  Get over here NOW!"

Both Ms Sohn and Mr Akinnagbe were talking to students, and I didn't want to interrupt (after all they were there to talk to prospective voters, and I'm not a citizen so I can't vote), so I ran off to the screening, so I could tell Kim and Jill (they organised the film series) who are also big Wire fans.  It was one of the most surreal and most exciting celebrity spots ever!  It almost tops that time I saw David Beckham topless at Broadcasting House, but I wasn't wearing my glasses, so he was blurry! 

If only Doc C had been there too it would have been perfect, because he would have thought to say what a travesty it was the "The Wire" never won an Emmy.  Unfortunately by the time Doc got to the Student Union they had already left, so he is very jealous of me.  He says he's not letting me go anywhere with out him now, after all it's not just that I spotted three celebs in one go, but they were stars of one of the greatest television series of all time.  Which you can't argue with really.

Yes We Can Have A Party!

We are planning to have an Election Party on Tuesday 4th November, Doc C e-mailed some people about it yesterday and he's started to get RSVPs back.

Unexpectedly Doc also got a phone call from his brother, who is very excited about the election too.  In fact he's planning to fly from Boston to join us for just for the evening; because he thinks that it would be more interesting to be in N.C., which is being counted as a swing state in this election, rather than Massachusetts which is a strong hold for the Democrats.

So far we don't have a theme for the evening, other than nervous tension of course, but we are thinking about having an elephant pinata.  Well I'm thinking about having a pinata, and trying to talk the Doc into it, mainly because we have the perfect stair case to hang one from, and I've never destroyed one before.  They look like fun to me!