Alien Spouse

Rosemary's Baby (1968).

The DVD of "Rosemary's Baby" arrived from Netflix yesterday, and we started watching it the minute we got home. What a great film! Of course we spent a good deal of our viewing time admiring their apartment and I drooled over some of the fab outfits (not that red velvet trouser suit though. Ugh.) that Mia gets to wear through out. Naturally we had a brief discussion about how on earth the Woodhouses can afford such a great apartment in the Dakota, but Doc C's theory that Guy's acting career was doing reasonably well is spot on the money according to an IMDB commentator's exhaustative comparison of the film to the book. 

Doc C mildly suggested that, perhaps, we should stop watching films about evil babies now. I don't know about that, if only because we've got so many more to catch up on! I also realised that although Rosemary is bearing the child of Satan, which can't be any fun at all, she clearly doesn't have to worry about maternity leave because she's not working, or the cost of health care, or any of the stuff that I'm trying not to stress out about (Stress is bad for the baby, as we all know, and yet there is a surprising amount of it waiting to nobble you when you get preggers.) One of the few things I'm really not worried about producing an evil kid, so actually some demonic gestation drama is a pleasant change of pace to the real life boring nonsense.

As some of you know I've long held grand plans to dress as a heavily pregnant Rosemary Woodhouse for Halloween, but now I realise that her third trimester is during a blazing hot New York summer so I'd have been running around in a thin cotton dress in October. Good call on my kid's part to be a summer baby and therefore avoid that freezing debacle.

Rose-Coloured Spectacles.

I have been most remiss in sharing my new specs with you - Mainly because I haven't worn any make-up in the past couple of weeks, and these do look particularly good with a nice bit of eyeliner. Today I decided to just snap a photo and then edit the hell out of it in Picnik; which is why the frames are pin-sharp and the rest of the image is super soft-focus! Pores? My skin doesn't have pores!

As you can see the new glasses are slightly cat's eye, which Doc C thinks brings out my cheekbones (love that man), and they have a tiger grey exterior with a clear pink interior. That sounds like a car, but you see what I mean right? The outside of the frame is one colour (well, it's sort of marbled really) whilst the inside is another; so there are hints of that inside colour as I move my head and the angle changes.

As you can see here:

Again with the Picnik soft-focus, which I am especially grateful for here. It took me forever to get the angle right on this one, so you could see more of the edge of the glasses and less of the bags under my eyes - I didn't sleep very well last night.

Please feel free to reassure me that these are stylishly fun, without being wacky. I'm still a touch self-conscious about them.

My Eyes! My Eyes!

I had my eyes tested this weekend, because I noticed that my right eye felt quite scratchy after work sometimes. It turns out that my eyes are a bit dry, so I have to put warm compresses on them and use eye-drops especially if I've been staring at a computer screen a lot (So... That's pretty much every week day then). Well, if it's optician's orders, I think I can handle lying on the sofa with a warm flannel across my eyes, sipping a martini and listening to a vintage radio drama for half an hour or so in the evening.

I also tried on some new frames, I want to keep my current frames but I'd like some variety in my face furniture. I'm thinking about a subtle cat's eye, something a bit more sixties mod that would look good with lashings of eyeliner (my new favourite make-up technique).  Basically, I asked if the assistant helping me watched "Criminal Minds" and requested Garcia glasses, and after a quick google image search she was off to the races with that idea! I tried on loads, but as it was just after I'd had the drops put in to dilate my pupils, it got increasingly difficult to actually see them. Doc C came over to help, but it's not really the same. Anyway, I have to wait until next month before I get new glasses so the shortlist was noted down and I can try them on again when I'm in full control of my ability to focus.

 

After the eyeware fashion show, my irises were fully dilated, so the optician could see into my eyeballs. Which is SO weird, but I was expecting it this time, so, the minute I sat in the chair, I asked the optician if I could have the images of the backs of my eyes, because how cool is that? They look like alien planets, don't they?

Also - I SEE YOU!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You are Invited to a Suburban Nightmare.

This is one of our Halloween Party invitations, in fact I do believe this was the first card off the production line.

Let me walk you through my process.

Step One) I hand coloured the flamingo, because I didn't have any card in the right shade of pink; so I used a sickly shade of lilac and cross-hatched it with a hot pink gel pen. Then I used my iPod to find an image of a plastic flamingo, and traced the outline onto greaseproof paper; I used that tracing to make a template which I drew around. Finally I cut out ten flamingoes, by hand, from the now pink card and hot-glued cocktail sticks onto the back of them. 

Step Two) I used a round cookie cutter as a template to draw ten circles of the same diameter onto the mottled grey card stock, and then I hand-cut those out too. They were then stuck onto the invitations, trying to get them all in roughly the same position.

Step Three) I cut out ten strips of white card, and used a Martha Stewart paper punch to get the fence cut-outs. I folded the strips in half and stuck the back half onto the card so that the fence folded around to the front of the invitation.

Step Four) Having not found any suitable grass (I was really hoping to find bento grass food dividers, but then I remembered I live in a tiny town on top of a mountain in North Carolina), I was going to cut it out of green card. Then I found a packet of acid green shredded paper which I bought at Easter to pack cupcakes in boxes with and then never used - It's the perfect colour, and, hello, it says "Easter Grass" right there on the bag! Perfect! So then I had to pull out individual clumps from the tangle inside the bag and comb it out using my fingers, line it up and cut it in half before hot-gluing it to the card. Once in place I trimmed the grass, so it wasn't covering the moon.

Step Five) I hot-glued the flamingo to the card so it was silhouetted by the moon.

Step Six) I folded the fence up over the bottom of the grass and the base of the flamingo's stick, and hot-glued it into place.

Step Seven) Place in a row on the mantel piece to check quality control and uniformity across the production line.

Step Eight) Force husband to admire the damn invitations you've spent hours making.

And I still have four to finish.

Saturday Shopping - Jeans and Soft Furnishings.

After breakfast (see previous post for details) we fed our friends' cats, which is always nice because they are so very pleased to see someone after a night alone - My Converse got a particular thorough loving from Molly Cat, but they are still cats so as soon as we had fulfilled our function and filled their food bowls we were ignored.

Doc C and I then went shopping, and I confirmed my suspicion that I have indeed gone down an entire size of jeans. This naturally called for trying on jeans in Levi's (even though I can't wear Levi's because my hips untuck the pockets somehow), Gap, J. Crew, Banana Republic and Old Navy. I bought very skinny (and very cheap - $10!) black jeans and wide legged blue jeans. Score.

We also needed stuff for the house, we bought a classic bamboo steamer, a huge stock pot and some nice firm cushions for the sofa.

Doc C and I compromised on these - He chose the floral (Ralph Lauren...) and I wanted the two London monuments (No name designer...). I'm usually skeptical about overtly British design elements, but these stark graphicsare so very fun and they look great; even more importantly they are really comfortable too. 

Subtle Ladies.

This is the print on the shirt I'm wearing today, I've had it for years and one of my favourite things about it is how subtle the design is.

I noticed the black roses, and the green roses straight away but it took a while for the lady to emerge. I do remember that I spotted her shoes first.

Fractal Chicks

I love packaging. If something comes in a particularly nice box, well I may covet the box more than the content and I'm sure that my love of some brands is purely down to being swept away by their design aesthetic.

This may explain why I spent quite some time on Sunday choosing just the right cardboard cartons to package the cupcakes I intend to take to my hairdresser. I went with classic Chinese takeaway boxes with the little wire handle, except these are tastefully glossy pastel shades of pink, blue and green. I also found some Easter themed cartons, which were for the most part completely hideous, but I did buy one that had rows and rows of yellow chicks, with an occasional hot pink chick facing in the other direction. So cute! So impossible to get a good photo of!

I really tried to get something a little more representational out of the shots I took, and of course I really really wanted one of the hot pink chicks to be prominently featured, but it was not to be. Even with all of those caveats I'm still pleased with how this image turned out, I imagine this is, like, the cutest bad acid trip ever!

Green for Danger (1946)

How great is the cover art for the Criterion Collection's DVD of "Green for Danger" (1946)?  The reason I mention it is that Netflix has just suggested I might like to watch it.I have to say Netflix is completely correct in that speculation, because I happen to be very fond of that film!  

If you've never seen the film it's not life changing, but it's certainly well worth 91 minutes of your time.  It's a hospital soap opera, crossed with quirky detective drama, and a WWII spy thriller.  What is not to like?  AND it stars Alasair Sims, Trevor Howard and the fabulous Megs Jenkins.

Even better Netflix has it available to watch instantly on-line, that is absolutely perfect viewing on a wintery Saturday afternoon with a fire, a cup of tea and some knitting on the go.  Ooh, lovely!  (Yes, I'm an 75 year old woman trapped in a 35 year old body.  What of it?)

A Practical Fashion Notion.

Given the option I would rather be too cold than too hot, but I am getting a bit tired of feeling like there is a constant chilly draft down my neck.  My shoulders just feel uncomfortably clammy, like I'm wearing a t-shirt that isn't quite dry on the back.  Ugh.

What do you think my chances are of training on of the cats to let me wear them like a stole?  My cat Morag used to happily be carried around like that and it was very cosy, but I suspect Edith would find it undignified and Nancy will be convinced it's a plot to kill her (Nancy thinks taking out the recycling is a plot to kill her, she's what you might call jumpy).

Maybe I need to knit myself a cape with an interior pocket to put a hot water bottle in.  That would probably give me an oddly shaped hunch, but that's a small price to pay for finally thawing out my scapula.

The Reading Room.

There aren't quite enough books on those shelves, the walls should be white with an accent wall in whatever colour I fancy that day, the rug should be a nice fluffy sheepskin and I'd really prefer the hanging chair to be an oversized Eero Aarnio bubble chair; but otherwise this is an uncannily accurate representation of the room I daydream about.

Image via bookshelfporn.com

And Rings On Her Toes.

Doc C's conference is in a pair of hotels which seems to bookend a rabbit-warren of a mall, which has some swanky shops in it including a Tiffany's.

The last time I saw a Tiffany's window display they were promoting their diamond key pendants, which was beautiful timing on their part because I'd just got my key tattoo.  This time they had a window displaying a fairytale village made out of tiffany blue books.  You have got to hand it to them, they know how to tempt a girl.

Yes that is a diamond snowflake hanging from the trail of stars, and there's also a ring in the beak of the bluebird; but for me it was the book village that was particularly enchanting.  Can I live there please?

This is a nice atmospheric shot with no flash, but I wanted to get the detail of all of the text on the stars and house gables, so I got a more harshly lit photo as well.

Isn't that lovely?  I'm not sure what the story is that the pages are taken from, but there was some text on the window with a story about a handsome prince who is turned into a bluebird whilst his lady love is imprisoned in a tower.  Does anyone know that story?  It's sounds like a mash-up of Rapunzel, the Happy Prince and that one about the swans.

Of course I stayed outside Tiffany's and just admired the window, but I still purchased some sparkle today.

Lovely shiny rings!  These were total bargains as they were reduced from $20 each, to a dollar each in the Papyrus sale.  Fabulous.  It's a pity these were the last two in stock, or you know I'd be wearing one on every available digit.

Decorative Pre-Planning.

This is the best time to buy Christmas decorations because they are usually all discounted by a ridiculous amount to get them off the shelves.  I love it!  Shiny things on sale?  For ME!

Of course the only problem then is that you have to wait a whole year before you actually get to use your new treasures. I'll have to make sure I put these fabulously cheesy baubles with the rest of the decorations when I get home, so I don't squirrel them away "somewhere safe" and then forget I bought them for the bargain price of $7.

Are they not deliciously awful?  I feel a childish delight in their glitter encrusted charms I have to say.  These are part of a anniversary release apparently, and are based on vintage designs from when the company first started.

I also bought a box of Halloween decorations by the same company for $6, so I only have to wait ten months to hang these treasures up.

I think my favourite of these is the happy ghost with a pearl sheen, but the cat has really good fangs and the details on all of them are quite charming.  I'm obviously going to have to hang the crossed bones beneath the skull, and I think they will all look great on my mini black tree.  I cannot wait for Halloween!  As ever!

Tipsy Cupcake Decorating.

I bought a Chocolate Guinness Cupcake whilst we were in Asheville, but I was still full from lunch, so I brought it back home with me.

In the shop I was slightly disappoined that my favourite flavour was the only type that day to have icing on top, but no decorations.  Fortunately my lovely friends Stu and Lee had sent me a box full of sprinkles of all types, so this way I would get to decorate it myself.  Hoorah!

I was originally intending to have concentric circles of different types of sprinkles, which would have been rather lovely I think.  Perhaps my vision would have been better executed had I done it before I drank two large martinis with dinner, rather than after.  Almost certainly the photo would have been in focus then too, but it was still delicious and I think it looked none the less celebratory.

Ironic Toothbrush.

It's just so ironic it has to be intentional, doesn't it?  The designer must have been giggling like a loon through out the pitch.

In other news I've been at home today with a sore throat, so I've been playing video games and drinking a lot of tea.  No, really A LOT of tea.  I feel like my stomach is a samovar.

 

The Doc's Elaborate Ruse.

Whilst I was getting changed out of my work skirt and into shorts Doc C put "Little Big Planet" on the PS3.  It's a ridiculously addictive game, and he had no intention of playing it himself, it was a trap so I'd get sucked into playing and he could have the laptop.

And it worked.

I played for two hours, and then I decided to quit the game and read a book.  Instead I re-designed my character and her outfit; then I decorated my home pod.  It's red, orange, light blue, black and hot pink paint splotches, with white stencils of diamonds.

It looks lovely, but this may be why Doc is reluctant to give me too much of a free hand in the way of decorating the house.

Star Wars: A New Lamp.

After work today we browsed for lamps and soft furnishings, and Doc C pointed out a really nice petrol blue lamp with a blue-and-brown shade.  When I got home I thought about how that would fit in our bedroom, and suggested he have that lamp on his bedside table.

Doc said that actually what he'd like is the same lamp that I have, but full of Star Wars figures.  Which I'd suggested, ooh, when I bought my own lamp 18 months ago, so of course Kmart don't sell them any more.

So he googled for "Martha Stewart Terrarium Lamp" and the top result was Alien Spouse, with a photo of my bedside lamp.  Which is funny, especially because that post even mentions the Star Wars figures, but not terribly helpful in finding one for the Doc.

A Cheaper Chairless.

I was looking at a design website, because moving makes me think for some reason we are going to stumble over a big pile of money and be able to buy some cool new furniture, and I saw a picture of Chairless.  If you click on that link, you'll be taken to the official webpage (and it plays music by the way) where you will find photos of the product itself, the nomadic tribe that inspired the design and the designer himself.  Please look at the designer, he didn't put that much product in his hair not to be looked at. 

One thing I can't find out though, is how much the thing costs.  It's essentially a webbing strap, but in a selection of different colourways, with the designers tag on it and a percentage of the profits going to a non-profit organisation; so with that much hipness attached to it, how much could it possibly cost?  Well they've sold out via the website directly, and don't list the price there, so I googled it. One design blog claims that The Conran Shop is selling them for twenty quid, which is actually cheaper than I would have guessed from the look of the people posing with it on the website.  I can't actually find them on the Conran Shop website though, so I don't know if that price is correct.

Anyway, the cost doesn't really factor into this for me, because the moment I saw the thing I thought "Hmmm, that looks like a yoga strap.  I've already got one of those."  So I went and grabbed the yoga strap from my yoga/pilates shelf and now I'm sitting with it looped around my back and knees.  It's not uncomfortable, but it's not the height of luxury either, which is pretty much what one would expect really.