As you will appreciate most of the drama surrounding a birth is on the day itself, but it doesn't end there. Oh no. So the second day I was totally fine. I mean a little uncomfortable, but the only pain medication I've taken so far has been ibuprofen, although I could have percocet any time I fancy, and I've been enjoying the admiration of people for my ability to stand. It has been a while since my standing upright has been that impressive to anyone, it goes to your head (Boom! Boom!).
However, Evalyn also had to have some tests run including a bilirubin test. That involves taking a blood sample, and with new borns they do that by making a tiny cut on their heel and then filling up a small vial from that cut. I am getting tearful just thinking about it. Doc C and I were in pieces after that, Eva recovered pretty much immediately of course, but I could not stop crying and apologising to her. That was bad enough, because we didn't know what was coming - This morning, because her bilirubin levels were higher than they would have liked at the first test, a second one was ordered. We had to ask the tech to take Eva to the nursery to do it, because we just could not have handled that again.
There is a saying or a quote that I half-remember about how having a child is like cutting out your heart and sending it out to walk around in the world, and I always thought that was a touch hyperbolic. Now I'd happily invest in some sort of heart-armour or baby body guard service. It is just terrifying to think about how I'm going to feel in a few years time if Eva trips over, or someone calls her a name, or anything that is going to make her cry in earnest. Ugh.
This is probably also because the third day after giving birth is pretty notorious for new mothers to just melt down emotionally, which I had never heard before but still fell hook-line-and-sinker into that stereotype. I have been a weepy mess today, whilst trying desperately to get it together and learn how to take care of my new born. It's been so much fun!
The nurses, doctors, techs and consultants have been so nice and very supportive, and Doc C has been phenomenol, so I am feeling better now than I was earlier. I've learnt a few tricks to get Evalyn to feed better, and I'm definitely getting better at holding her and anticipating what she wants, so that is good. Even better her second bilirubin test was less worrying to the doctors, and her weight is at the point where we could go home this evening if we wanted to. I decided not to rush it though, three nights in the hospital is standard after a caesarean and whilst I might be the only new mum on the maternity ward who only needs to take ibuprofen, I'm also not daft enough to think that makes me super-woman or something.
Eva, by the way, seems to be a very serious but completely content little baby (as long as she's warm, dry and fed, obviously) and is blissfully unaware yet that her mother is so easiily reduced to mush. Don't tell her - She'll only try to use her power for evil, or perhaps a pony.