Alien Spouse

Agatha: Novel (1978), Film (1979).

When I was 9 I suddenly developed a taste for Agatha Christie novels.  I'm fairly certain the first one I owned was "At Bertram's Hotel", but I don't remember if I got that before or after seeing the BBC adaptations of the Miss Marple stories.  I could still hum you that theme tune, and for me Joan Hickson is the definitive Marple.

I must have been about 12 when the film "Agatha" (1979) was shown on TV, but I was thrilled to be allowed to stay up and watch it with my parents because I was fascinated by Agatha Christie's 11 day disappearance in 1926, which she never really gave a proper explanation for.  Dad teased me that there was bound to be a sex scene in the film because it starred Vanessa Redgrave and Dustin Hoffman, and, as I was a very pure minded 12 year old, the mere suggestion was completely outrageous to me!  I don't actually remember much about the film now, except for the main plot twist, and it being the main reason I developed a distaste for Timothy Dalton that I've never quite got over.  He's probably very nice in real life, but as Archie Christie he was a cad and a bounder so I could never buy into him being a romantic lead after this.

Last week I spotted the book that the film was based on.  It was published two years after Agatha's death, so she didn't have a chance to respond to the solution posed by Kathleen Tynan.  I'm only on chapter three, so she's only just vanished mysteriously and there isn't any indication of where she might have gone.

The art work on this is particularly 70's film tie-in, isn't it?  Hideous, yet intriguing.  Those are great portraits of Redgrave and Hoffman, but it's a weirdly composed image and I have no idea why they are peering off in different directions through wet glass.  I'm pretty sure that doesn't end up being a plot point, but I could be wrong there.

Serendipitous Questionable Content.

During orientation schedule building one of our advisors used the phrase "...smiling from ear-to-ear", and the student he was talking to said, entirely dead pan, that she thought that if one did that "...it would be very painful, and possibly the top of your head would fall off".

So today's Questionable Content was too good a gift not to share with the group.  It made my entire office giggle, after I'd tweaked it a tiny little bit.  I do hope J. Jacques doesn't mind me changing the first speech bubble, and chopping off the last panel to alter his strip so it would fit the anecdote more closely.

Edith's Exercise Regime.

The trick to keeping Edith on the, relatively, straight and narrow is to give her some mental and physical exercise by playing various games with her.  Miss Cavell-Cat loves "Leap for the Crinkly Mouse",  "Chew the Pink Feather Boa Until It's All Soggy" in particular; but she's not adverse to "Rolling Around in Catnip Like A Loon".

If you can incorporate the cat tower into these games so much the better. I love that the middle picture looks as though she has an even camper second tail, as if her original tail wasn't swishy enough.  After I took the third picture she curled up and went to sleep, which is very cute.  I just hope she stays down here tonight and doesn't depose Nancy from her suitcase throne, because then Nancy spends the entire night trying to get comfy on top of my head and that isn't as restful as you might think.

***Post Script: I'm not sure where Edith slept, but Nancy climbed all over my head again and then farted; I was immediately woken by of the noxious smell.  Stupid cat digestive system.  On the other hand Nancy was delighted that I woke up, and was very affectionate so that was nice***

Parcel Post.

After the gym today I went to my office, and Doc went to the post office.  He came back to my office with two parcels.

One was from Threadless, and it was our newest additions to our T-shirt collection.  Hoorah!

Even better we had a parcel from my Mum, and it was very exciting!  Doc gleefully ran off home with his beloved "Star Trek" DVD box set, so he could watch "The Empire Strikes Back" on our big telly.  My share of the parcel was a new pair of really nice linen trousers and some proper M&S undies; the best part about it for me though was that the clothes were size smaller than all of the stuff I brought over with me!  Yay!  I couldn't wait to get home this evening, so I could try things on to really confirm I'm now back to a UK size 14.  And I am!

I also have a packet of Iced Gems, which Mum tells me are not as good as they used to be.  I will probably hoard those for a few days, so I can give them my undivided attention at the weekend.

The Science of Cleaning.

The cleaning frenzy is finished! Just in time to go to work tomorrow! Yay!

My most successful cleaning experiment this weekend was getting the annoying orangey water marks off the bath, these are because we are on well water and there is a lot of iron in it.  They are really quite faint, but I know they are there and they will not come off with conventional methods.  So I tried making a paste of baking soda and vinegar, and then used a spatula to ice (American translation: Frost) the whole bath with it.  That was left on over night and then this morning I sprayed more vinegar on to it to get the baking soda to fizz up again whilst I scrubbed.  That worked in a most satisfactory manner.

The most ridiculous outcome of all this experimentation with household science projects involved some borax as a pre-wash soak for an otherwise unremarkable pale wash.  After the machine had run it's cycle, I took out the clothes and was momentarily confused by finding a pair of unfamiliar white trousers in there.  Then I realised that it was my pink check pyjamas, just minus the pink.  The top was exactly the same, as was one green t-shirt that I am pretty sure is just a shade or two more yellow.  I feel quite daft, because I had no idea that the borax would bleach out colour like that!  The weird part is that it was only the pyjamas and t-shirt that the borax had that effect on, apart from that everything else is fine.***Wait I retract this! It wasn't borax, it was a whitening booster for getting grubbiness out of white clothes, so this was totally stupid of me on several levels***

All in all, it's been quite a productive and educational weekend.

Oh, I almost forgot! Edith has been behaving herself beautifully over the past couple of days, but when I had cleaned both litter trays, and re-filled them with lovely fresh litter, I put them in the hall so I could clean the bathroom.  I scrubbed everything down, and told Doc C he could mop the floor whenever he wanted to.  Before he wanted to, Edith waltzed in and peed on the floor.  Doc was annoyed, but I think that's pretty good actually.  At the very least it suggests that she is now fixated on peeing in the bathroom again, that is progress of a sort.  I suppose.

Cruel to be Kind.

Stupid bloody Ants! 

I'm trying to help you, why are you being so stubborn?  The nectar really can't be that nice, it's out of a packet and I highly doubt it's organic.  In fact, I bet it's mostly made from corn syrup.

sigh.

Hand me my hot glue gun.  I clearly have to fill in the hole in the ant moat, in an attempt to salvage this experiment in nature conservation from abject failure.

This is for your own good Ants!

It's For The Greater Ant Good.

This is the new humming bird feeder that we bought a couple of weeks ago, Doc helped me to hang it from a pole attached the railing of the deck.

The only problem being ants.

The ants climb all the way up the pole, down the string, across the little yellow roof, clamber around upside down on the underside of the yellow roof, and finally walk down the polka dot bottle to the "flowers" on the base.

 

Isn't that clever of them?  Except they get all over excited and climb right inside the "flowers" to reach the nectar, and then they end up in the bottle.  Which isn't good, because they drown in the nectar, and then the feeder becomes like a rather unpleasant snow globe, instead of the delightful treat for hummingbirds it's intended as.  I quite like ants, I mean the tiny little ones that don't sting or chew wood or anything like that, so I don't like seeing this.  Plus the humming birds clearly do not like sharing the feeder with insects; which is fair enough really, I know I wouldn't like a facefull of ants when I was only trying to get some lunch.

So I consulted the internet and discovered that ants don't like vinegar.  Great!  Except that vinegar, being a liquid, gets diluted and washed off by rain so it didn't last very long.  Then I found a suggestion to make an ant trap from the lid of a bottle, by the simple expedient of making a hole in the centre of the lid, and threading the string from the feeder through the hole in the middle of the lid.  Then you are supposed to fill the lid with water, can you see the flaw with that?  Trying to fill something with water when you've just poked a hole in it?  Hmmm?

As an experiment I've put a paste of borax and lemon juice in the lid, which I don't think will hurt the humming birds but will, unfortunately, kill some of the ants.  Hopefully it won't kill too many before they get the idea, and stop trying to get to the nectar.  I really would prefer to kill none at all, but the idea is that this should save more ant lives than it takes.

Oh, I suddenly feel horribly calculating.  sigh.

Cleaning Report.

The first task for today was for Doc and I to thrash out a deal over which areas I would clean and which bits he would do.  Essentially if it's on a flat horizontal plane Doc C will be handling it; so he's mopping floors, cleaning the kitchen work surfaces and vacuuming.  I'm doing sinks, toilets, litter trays, baths and showers.

We did have to shop for fresh supplies mid-way through, and I had carefully researched cheap but non-toxic alternatives to nasty harsh chemical cleaners so we went nowhere near the cleaning aisle.

We bought:

• Baking Soda (2 large boxes)
• A large bottle of hydrogen peroxide (3%)
• A large bottle of white vinegar
• A large bottle of lemon juice
• a medium sized bottle of really cheap vodka

We already had borax, so we're well on our way to a thoroughly clean house but with no worries about any of the fumes or residue hurting us or the kitty cats, who are apt to eat anything bad for them through sheer cheekiness.

Soup, A Sandwich and Some Sculpting Clay.

When I got home Doc C made me a bowl of really nice tomato soup with a cheese toasty, and I soon felt much more like myself.  It is Friday after all, and I have three definite projects for this weekend.

1. Re-purpose a bird house as a mobile for my office window.
2. Clean the house.
3. Watch the "Dr Who" special on BBC America tomorrow at 9.

As you can see I've already made eight birds in different sizes out of sculpting clay, to be the moving parts of the mobile. I also managed to find the fishing wire, so task one is already well under way.

Early Warning System.

There are times when I need to be left the hell alone (My Mother at this point is probably saying "*cough* PMT *cough*", she would not be wrong.  She seldom is I find), and I'm pretty good at sending out subtly (Mum: "Ha!") spiky signals to alert people to this so that I don't have to actually kill them.  The problem is when someone decides that I need cheering up and tries to jolly me out of it.

No.  Bugger off.

Doc C has learnt that when I'm in a grumpy mood that I will make that very clear, usually I try to tell him straight away so he doesn't get hurt in crossfire; he now knows that the best thing to do in this situation is to set me up with a cup of tea, a TV marathon of either a completely mindless reality show or a nice juicy detective procedural, perhaps throw chocolate in my general direction and duck for cover behind the sofa.

My office mates? Not so much.  I have three and a half hours to go, and I predict, if the tuneless whistling and badly done British accents don't bloody well stop now, that there will be some harsh words spoken by the end of play.  Stop pulling my tail!

Tomato!

This is the first tomato on Doc's tomato plants, that he grew from seeds.

Despite the fact that this first fruit is probably only the size of a raisin, Doc C is very proud indeed.

The One Definite Thing in Life.

I cannot believe that Michael Jackson has died, I simply did not see that one coming quite yet.  Farrah Fawcett too, but that was slightly more to be expected because she had been suffering from cancer.

Perhaps the reason it seems so very odd is that both of them have been slightly less in the public eye in recent years, so when I picture them mentally I'm probably thinking of them in their twenties when they were really at the height of their fame.  Fame is a very odd thing.

A Fan of Fans.

 As I mentioned in my previous post, I do not do well in hot weather, and I never have done; but at least this year my tolerance does seem to be better than last year. I think this is because I have developed a couple of coping strategies.

These include skirts, a paper parasol, lunchtime naps and, most importantly, my lovely new desk fan.

Here it is in action, silently pushing a lovely cool stream of air straight at me.  I positioned it in front of the latest bouquet that Michael brought in from his garden, so not only is the air cool, it is also delicately scented.

Gorgeous.

I've Run Out of Cat Post Titles.

I am well aware that I need to write a post about something other than my cats, this blog is in imminent danger of becoming "The Edith and Nancy Show, _{with special guest stars Doc C and Jen}" but you can blame two things for this increase in feline observational comedy.

1. It's getting warmer, and at temperatures above 70 degrees Fahrenheit (that's about 21 degrees Celsius) my brain slows down and frankly my creativity levels become negligible.
2. The cats are for some reason particularly hilarious at the moment.

The hummingbirds are well and truly back now, and they remembered our balcony had a feeder on the living room window.  I put it back exactly where it was last year, Edith in particular finds this irresistible.  She glances over to the feeder roughly every ten seconds, and if she sees a humming bird she has to get as close as possible. 

There is nothing as amusing as seeing a cat trying to recover it's dignity after she's thrown herself at a window, and fallen gracelessly to the floor. 

How did this effect the humming birds?  Quite honestly, they seem to find it amusing.  Doc said when Edith was sleeping by the window earlier today that they hovered down to have a good look at her, and now they really don't seem at all bothered by her.  This is clearly all the more humiliating to the cat so I threw Edith a crinkly mouse a couple of times to make up for it, and she relieved her feelings by rabbit kicking the hell out of that for a while.

Night at the Cinema

This evening was the last chance to catch "Night at the Museum: Battle if the Smithsonian", which I wanted to see and had discovered Laura and Jasmine also wanted to see. Doc really didn't so, instead he went with Randy to see "Year Zero" which I had no interest in seeing. My top relationship tip is that it is usually best not to force someone you care about to see a film they really don't want to, so this arrangement was perfect! I'm also fairly confident I got to see the better film, or the very least the film with the best dramatic use of an Einstein bobble head doll.

Actually it was sort of research because Doc is writing a paper on historical inaccuracy in fiction films, mainly because I have been known to get really quite annoyed at that. So the films tonight were interesting case studies in some ways, again I'm pretty sure mine had more hard facts in it. If one discounts the waxworks coming to life aspect clearly.

Cats on a Suitcase

Doc texted me this photo of Edith invading Nancy's space. I know cat's faces are covered in fur and have a limited range of mobility; but the expression on Nancy's face is so put upon in this picture. I imagine she's saying "Why? Why can't the floofy cow leave me alone? I wish I were an only cat. sigh"

One of my favourite forms of entertainment at the moment is providing a voice over track for Edith's thoughts, because I've come to believe that Edith is a leading feline anthropologist who is conducting research into human/cat co-habitation. We, as her test subjects, are clearly being subjected to a battery of experiments on a daily basis but I am not sure where she is noting her data. I'm thinking this whole research project may be deeply flawed in fact.

Smores are Tasty.

After dinner this evening I made smores. To an American no further explanation is necessary, but I'd never had one before we moved here so I thought I'd write a brief how to guide.

1. Carefully toast a marshmallow on a skewer.
2. Sandwich the warm melted fluff with a square of chocolate between two halves of a graham cracker (which is sort of like a oblong digestive).
3. Eat it.
4. Repeat.

It's the most fun to make them with a group of friends after a nice meal, but today felt like a particularly long Monday at work so I decided to make a couple. Whilst Doc watched back-to-back episodes of "Star Trek: TNG", I went out to the balcony to make myself two smores.  It was nice to eat a crunchy gooey sweet messy thing, whilst I listened to the frogs bellowing at each other and watched fireflies flitting around the trees.

Lovely.

A Good Night's Sleep and A Desk Fan. That's ALL I Want. sigh.

The weather is getting warmer, and I now spend most of my lunch hour curled up on the sofa in Doc's office because I'm not sleeping enough during the night, and when I do I'm having exhaustingly hectic dreams.  Now that I am relying on this seista more and more I tried to convince my manager that we should swap Doc's two seater sofa for one of our offices three seaters, but she didn't go for it.  Ah well, I somehow manage to squish myself into the small space and I usually fit in a nice half hour zizz most days.

Tonight we are going to try sleeping on a futon mattress on the living room floor, which should be a lot cooler, because we'll be right in front of the balcony screen door.  I have no idea what the cats will make of this.

My other problem is that my office has no air conditioning at all, so I am totally reliant on wide open windows and that is just not enough on some days.  Last week I ordered a small desk fan, and I've started obsessively checking the FedEx delivery tracker.  I just cannot wait to have a gentle breeze at my command when I'm at work.  Imagine that.  sigh.  It's also my first purchase from "Woot!", which essentially sells one item cheaply for one day only (there's also "shirt.woot!", which sells t-shirts and "wine.woot!" which sells, well, wine on the same principle), it was actually a third of the price of exactly the same fan on Amazon and that is including the delivery fee.  It's also going to be cherry red, which is particularly pleasing.

Fun with Edith Cavell-Cat.

Let's play Spot the Edith!

 

Now where could she be?  Can you see her?

Did you see her ear? Well done!

Edith was having a nap in the box on the shelf, see Edith yawn! 

Look how pink her tongue is!

Edith's hoping that a hummingbird will get confused and fly right into her mouth one day, but so far that double glazed window has really put a dent in that otherwise full-proof plan.

Ready to Party in Under Twenty Minutes. Let's Go!

We went to the engagement party of our friends Jack and Amber last night, which was really nice.  Before we went I decided to have an afternoon nap, because warm weather saps my energy reserves by a ridiculous amount.  Doc was working on a paper and lost track of time, so I was expecting to be woken up in time for a light snack before getting ready to leave, and instead we had to go! Now!

I had already planned to wear a mini-dress I bought in the Philadelphia H&M, so I pulled that on and shoved my feet into my black low-top converse.  All I had to do now was put on some make-up.  Quickly!  I was just applying blusher when Doc said "Don't you usually wear tights (American translation: Pantyhose) with that dress?" Yes, I did when I first got it in the Autumn, but it's too warm now.  "Oh, Ok.  Are you going to put on a belt?"  No.  And what the hell are you trying to say?  Should I not wear this?  I thought we were in a hurry, why are you double-guessing my wardrobe choices?  Hmmm?  Doc hurriedly explained that he hadn't meant a thing by it, that these were entirely innocent questions and that I looked very pretty.

However the biggest problem was now what to do with my hair.  I hadn't put any styling products in that morning, and we didn't have time now; so, don't tell Jason, but I grabbed an Alice band to wrangle it into some semblance of a Do and we left.  And that is why I attended a social gathering without hair product.  Did I learn nothing from living with a hairdresser for 7 years?

It turned out to be much easier to handle my hair that way, so I thought perhaps I should reconsider my daily styling routine.  The main problem is my right side starts going off at a tangent, so I thought I'd try flipping the parting from the left side to the right.  That should make the right side less heavy, but it will also counteract the effect of driving with the car windows open.  I may as well try to work with it rather than against it. 

Of course Officially Pronounced Dead, lists Paul McCartney's hair parting jumping from the left to the right as one of the clues that he was replaced by an imposter in 1967.  Don't worry though, even when my hair is parted on the right, I'm still me!

Maybe It Was Two Shots!

I love you guys! No, really I'm not just saying that because we went to a lovely engagement party and I did a tequila shot on an empty stomach before I ate anything!  Because then I did eat some cheese and biscuits, so I'm totally fine now!

You guys rock!  We should hang out more, and play Wii baseball, or poker, or, ooh I know, karaoke! Yeah!  Where can we do karaoke?  Bagsy any Dusty Springfield, except for "Son of a Preacher Man", or we could all sing "Love Shack" that would be so much fun!

What was I saying?  That's right!  I LOVE you guys, you are the best!

Nancy's Obsession.

By way of contrast with her companion, Nancy has claimed my suitcase as her bed and just spends large chunks of the day looking adorable.

When you go into our bedroom now, she'll open up her big green eyes and just watch you, but if you say "Hello Nancy!" she will chirp and coming running over.  This is your cue to immediately sit on the floor and fuss her, or suffer the wrath of a shy small grey cat.  This usually involves a disappointed squeak, and a return to the suitcase, whereupon she will turn her back on you.

I still haven't fully unpacked the suitcase, because that's what is making it so comfortable for Nance.  My plan now is to buy a cheap vintage suitcase, one of those nice old-fashioned rigid ones that are actually a pain in the neck to travel with, and make her a proper bed from that.  I'll probably use old t-shirts that Doc and I have worn for a while, because I think what she mainly likes is the smell of her people.  What with one things and another, Nancy is an altogether endearing little creature.

Edith: Saturday Morning Fail.

Having decided that Edith would be free to roam the house at night over the weekend, I got out the plastic matting and refitted it.  I was very careful this time to cut it to size with a stanley knife, so that there was no carpet exposed.  Plastic is cheaper to replace then carpet after all. 

I dragged myself up at 4:45 this morning to check whether Edith had behaved herself during the night, and give the cats some food so they would stop standing on my head.  Everything was fine, so I went back to bed.  I woke up properly at about 9:30, and went back downstairs to give the cats the second half of their breakfast.  I found that between those two times Edith had disgraced herself by peeing on the plastic matting.

sigh.

Still it's probably too early to hope for much else. In fact Edith was most perplexed last night when she didn't get sequestered, and went into the bathroom a couple of times as if to indicate it was time for us to prepare her suite.  I suppose that's good actually because it shows she doesn't mind being in there very much.  I still  don't want to keep one of my cats shut away at night for the rest of her floofy life, but we can't let her run free if she'd going to keep doing this.  It's most annoying.

Right now she's sprawled out on the floor by the windows, looking particularly gorgeous and it's hard to believe what a little horror she can be.

Mystery Seedling

Doc C has been carefully tending to his seedlings, and he's very proud of them.

This was the only one of the Rosemary seeds he planted that made it to the seedling stage, having been the lone survivor of the Great Edith-Has-A-Nap-On-Top-Of-The-Seedlings catastrophe of 2009.

However, Doc suspects further foul play because this particular seedling doesn't appear to actually be Rosemary; despite the seed having come from this packet clearly marked "Rosemary".

It is our Mystery Seedling, which is pleasantly entertaining, until you remember that is exactly how both "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" and "Little Shop of Horrors" started.  If I start acting out of character, or get eaten by a Mean Green Mother from Outer Space, you'll know what to look out for yourselves.

Technology Marches On.

Ooh! New iPhone is out and I hear very good things from both my friend Stu and Mr. Stephen Fry, unimpeachably reliable sources on such matters I'm sure you'll agree. 

Delicious though the new iPhone sounds, my head hasn't been turned because I truly love my iTouch, and I'll soon be happily downloading the 3.0 software upgrade (just as soon as PayPal will let me add our bank account to it.  Grrr).  As I understand it, I will then be able to film 3D holographic video clips of any distress signals I may wish to send and upload them wirelessly to a small astromech droid.

Another improvement to the new software is an automatic "Star Wars" reference creator, which will save me a whole bunch of time.

Ian's Shoelace Site - Shoe Lacing Methods

Stumble Upon thought I might like this, and, once I started looking at it, I did become oddly fascinated.  The internet is quite a sweet place sometimes.

Ian's Shoelace Site - Shoe Lacing Methods.

Grey Cat. Pink Feather.

Fortunately for all concerned Edith is beautiful, loving and fun cat.  Here we see her contemplating the hot pink feather she has ripped out of one of her cat toys. 

The feather really is that shade of pink, I just made the rest of the picture black and white around it.

Edith: Follow Up Report.

We seem to have worked out the magic combination to stop Edith peeing in the hallway.

First of all, this week Edith has been shut in the downstairs bathroom at night; which at first she was very indignant about, but now she seems to quite like.  Doc and I take it in turns to put her in there before we go to bed, setting her up with food, water, a comfy bed and a night light, then we'll sit with for a bit a make a big fuss of her.  One of the reasons we chose to shut her in there was that is where the litter box is, and we just want her to get back into the habit of using that again.  At the moment the plan is to let Edith roam free at the weekend, which is risky, but otherwise we'll never know when she's totally retrained.

The second part of the equation was something I stumbled on by accident, when I set up the floor fan in the hallway to get some air circulating.  I noticed that Edith didn't like going in front of it, she not scared by it, so it simply seems to be she dislikes having her fur being blown around.  Instead of shutting her in the bathroom during the day, we leave the fan running and that has, so far, stopped her going anywhere near that part of the hall.  I wish I could say I knew that was going to happen, but in all honesty it was just lucky.

What we thought was going to be massively unlucky was the supermarket dropping our particular brand of cat litter, without any warning whatsoever.  That is so inconsiderate.  Cats are notoriously picky about their litter, and you are supposed to swap them over gradually.  I thought this sudden change would derail both cats, just when we were starting to make some progress.  Apparently though our cats couldn't care less, which we would be grateful for if that wasn't the problem in the first place when you think about it.

Nancy is still loving having us all to herself at night, and particularly enjoys jumping on the bed just before the alarm goes off.  Apart from that she is besotted with my suitcase, which Doc reports she will sit on all day and I've observed for myself she sleeps on all night.  I don't think that kind of fixation can be healthy, do you?

Reconstructed Duck Earphones.

I have been using my adorable duck earphones every time we go to the gym, and, whilst I still think they are adorable, I have to say it is really annoying that they simply will not stay in my ears.  The pieces that fit in to the ear are sort of hollow cones made out of a thin soft rubber, but the problem is that these just aren't firm enough to support the weight of the ducks when my pace picks up.

I don't like to give up on things though, especially when they are super cute, so I tried to come up with a modification that would solve the problem.

What I came up with was padding the cones internally using the top bits from a pair of foam ear plugs.  All I did was snip the top off the ear plugs with scissors, and then made a hole in the centre.  I took the cones off and turned them inside out so I could get to the tube in the centre, which I pushed the rounds of foam onto before re-fitting the cones back on the ear phones.

They are still very comfortable, and I think the foam helps block out some of the background noise but I won't know until Friday if this solves the problem.  I hope so, because I like these little guys, and they contribute a lot to making going to the gym fun.

Big Edith and Little Edie.

For dinner I made Aubergine Parmesan (American Translation: Eggplant Parmesan) and played with our very own Big Edith (Nancy still won't leave my suitcase unless she wants food), whilst we watched the documentary "Grey Gardens" (1975).  I decided to watch it again, because it's been years since I saw it, and I wanted to refresh my memory before I see the fictional version with Jessica Lange and Drew Barrymore.

It's hard to make sense of a lot of what is happening, because it often seems that the film makers turned the camera on and tried to simply record the Bouvier Beale stream of consciousness.  Something I'm not sure even the women themselves can follow at some points.

Doc C hadn't heard of this film before we went to P-Town and saw Little Edie portrayed by the fabulous Thirsty Burlington.  She was singing a number which, I assume, must have been taken from the musical version of "Grey Gardens".

Now we've watched it, Doc can't really articulate why, but he has said several times now that he found this documentary terrifying.

Another Vegas Movie.

This evening we went to dinner straight from work with Jasmine, Laura and Randy; then we met David to see "The Hangover" which was funny.  Don't go in expecting Ibsen, or substance of any sort though, just regress to being 9 and watching "Airplane" for the first time.  It's perfect for switching your brain off after a day in the office.

I did think that Heather Graham, who hasn't visibly aged a day in the past 15 years, had a surprisingly small role and I felt like they could have done more with her.  I like Heather Graham!  Why is Katherine Heigl getting the lead in rom-coms, and not Heather?  What is that about? 

Anyway...

So that's where I've been this evening.  How are you?

Cards and Tattoos.

When Doc got his latest tattoo he took a deck of Bicycle playing cards with him, to show the exact style and size he wanted the suits to be in.

I've tried to get a nice clear photo of it, although what I soon discovered was that it was damned awkward to get him to pose, so that you could see the ink but that wasn't also uncomfortable and contrived.

So I gave up until the weekend, when we were playing cards and I realised you can actually see that part of his arm best when he's holding a hand of cards, which is very appropriate.  As an added bonus in this picture you can also see the Japanese characters on his leg tattoo, which is the signature of the artist who painted the scroll that the leg tattoo is based on.

In case you were wondering we were playing Shithead with the very deck he took with him to the tattoo artist.  When we finished we were tied at "Shith..." each.

Active Day.

Today being Monday we went to the gym before work, and then after work we went to have a Pilates mat class.  I am really really tired now.

I wouldn't be surprised if I just fell asleep in the middle of a sentanzzzzzzzzzzzzz................ zzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzz.................zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....................zzzzzzzzzzzzz...........zzzzzzzzzzzzz.........

Drink Me!

Yesterday afternoon Doc felt really tired and took a nap on the sofa. When he woke up he went upstairs, and I carried on with my Saturday project of re-claiming the hallway from the cat turf war marking (Latest scheme involves "Just for Cats", powdered borax and a really big electric fan).

Then I heard the unmistakable sound of someone throwing up, and for once it wasn't Nancy.

Poor Doc was feeling awful, he was sweating and ached from head to toe.  I got him a glass of water, and then looked up his symptoms on NHS direct.  My conclusion was heatstroke, which made some sense as yesterday was quite hot and we didn't get any rain for a change.  I assured him that he didn't really need to go to hospital, then made him take a cool shower, and go to bed, with a damp flannel (American Translation: Face Cloth) on this forehead.  For the rest of evening I just sat next to him all whilst he dozed.

I stayed up late,so I could make sure he was really ok before I went to sleep myself.  When I woke up this morning I was thinking it was really odd that Doc had suddenly been overcome by the heat, that's usually my game as the pale and interesting one in the relationship.  I thought back through the whole of Saturday, and it struck me I hadn't seen him drink anything at all until about 4 when he had a bottle of beer.  I asked him and he said yes that probably was the first thing he'd had to drink.

I mean, really! 

Since I've known him I've been trying to get Doc to drink more water, or tea, or fruit juice, or any liquid at all really; not least because he suffers from kidney stones, so he needs to keeps well hydrated to help prevent them.  During the week he carries around a litre bottle of water, which has become a habit with both of us, but on the weekends he just forgets all about it.

It's too late to retract my sympathy now, but he'd better not pull something like that again.  If I have to watch him drink a glass of water every hour on the hour, then I will do so.  Grrrh!

Facebook: A Dish Best Served Cold.

Last night I logged into Facebook just after midnight to make sure I could get the username I wanted, and I found that the username announcement had vanished, so I had to dig around for a bit to find the link. Essentially I had to choose between using a variation on my actual name, or ensuring I snaffled AlienSpouse before someone else did, a decision so tiny yet fraught with potential consequences.  It was a very tough choice because you cannot change your username once you've clicked that button, so the pressure is quite overwhelming. Then I realised I could just ratchet my privacy settings up a couple of notches, and then it really wouldn't make any odds to anything.

Once I'd done that, well, I got nosy.

There is a girl, actually she's in her thirties so I should say woman I suppose, who I was at school with; and, with a diva strop here and an laughing insult there, she almost wrecked my fledgling self esteem.  It was a water torture of insignificant cruelties that built up over the course of our friendship and, naturally, she never apologised for any part of it.  Not even forcing me to see bloody "Cats - The Musical", Ugh!  This is one of those niggling little things that I will probably never fully get closure about.  I have even occasionally had dreams in which I am screaming at her, trying to get her to understand the effect of her behaviour; but even the version of her in my sub-conscious doesn't get it.

Anyway I had blocked her on Facebook as soon as I set up my account, because I didn't want to hear from her again.  The thing with blocking someone is that whilst they cannot see you, equally you cannot see them.  I understand why this is, even cyber stalking can be a terrifying thing, but at the same time I was suddenly curious about little Miss Can't-Be-Wrong.  So I un-blocked her for a bit, and, OMG I really hate to sound bitchy, but, her profile picture is awful.  No, really awful.

I'm not going to poke around any further than that; I wish her no ill at all and I hope she is perfectly happy with her life but I don't want to be drawn into the maelstrom again.  Still, it's oddly satisfying to my inner insecure teen that this person, who made me feel awful about myself during those awkward years, cannot now upload a flattering photo of herself to save her life.

Facebook really is all about the little things.

CSI: Miami. Further Questions.

The propensity of Horatio Caine to remove his sunglasses to emphasise important lines of dialogue is well documented, but what I want to know is why Natalia Boa Vista always wears white  to crime scenes.  Hello?  Crime scenes are by their very nature messy, are appropriate wardrobe choices not covered during CSI training?

Star Earrings.

When I moved to NC I left all of my earrings at my Mum's house.  What I was thinking I do not know, but I've been wearing the small silver hoops that were in my ears when I flew here for nearly two years now.

This situation was clearly unacceptable so I bought some haematite stud earrings when we were in Philadelphia, but they unfortunately make my ears go yucky.

Then, when we were in P-Town, I was trying to find some gold earrings that weren't ridiculously expensive, but that were also not hideous.  I am very picky about earrings, and, after visiting several jewellery shops, I found these tiny plain gold stars.  Ooh, and the tiny silver stud you can see here too.

It is surprisingly difficult to take a picture of your own ear.  If you do manage it, and it's in focus, that's when you notice how weird ears look when you really examine them.  So this photo has been massaged in Picnik, I used the Posterize effect, because I didn't want to show the internet the pores of my inner ear.

Still that is now something I have learnt about myself today; I'm vain about my inner ears.

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Further Education.

I went to meet with the Director of Admissions at the University's Graduate School today.  Just for a chat.

I need to complete an on-line application, get my undergraduate transcript, get a decent score on the G.R.E., ask three referees to write me references, re-tweak my C.V. and pay the accompanying fees for various parts of the process.

Assuming that all goes swimmingly, I'll be starting an MA in English Literature in the Autumn.

That is SO weird.

Cat Pictures.

Miss Edith Cavell-Cat checking up on me at work.  Doc brought her to visit my office after her trip to the grooming salon, she had a thorough explore of the whole place and was fussed by everyone.

Miss Vahti is determined to kill the feather boa, kill it!  I got some less blurred shots, but this one was the funniest!

Miss Asha displays her fluffy belly with panache.  I do not understand how she can possibly be comfortable like this, but that's cats for you.

Miss Nancy Wake-Cat thinks they are all crazy, but she hasn't got a leg to stand since she became obsessed with my suitcase.

Bento Boxes.

Ooh! Bento boxes and accessories.

Want.

Why on earth am I so enchanted by food containers that are exactly the right size for their contents?  I have no clue, all I know is that I am.

***Postscript: When I got home this evening I made myself a lentil curry, with a hard boiled egg and some mango chutney for dinner (Doc ate whilst I was at Pilates) and cooked enough to have the same thing for lunch tomorrow.  I love cold home-made lentil curry!  Even as I was writing this post I was planning which container to put my lunch in for tomorrow, and I was really looking forward to eating it.

Just as I hit publish Doc went into the kitchen to get a snack, but then changed his mind and started filling the dishwasher instead.  I walked into the kitchen just in time to see him rinsing the saucepan my curry had been in, I politely asked what had happened to my lunch and he guiltily admitted to throwing it away without thinking.

So I'll be having a bagel for lunch tomorrow I suppose.  Assuming that's where I left it when I get up in the morning.  sigh.

Pilates: First Class.

Our university offers a Pilates training course, and so it has a room full of all the proper equipment in the school of dance.  There was an e-mail to all staff offering a series of five classes for an unbelievably cheap price (it must be about a tenth of what you'd normally expect to pay), because it's a necessary part of the practical work for the graduating seniors final project.

This evening I went for my first one-on-one Pilates class, it was really good!    I can see why it's been so popular with actors and dancers for so long, it's relaxing yet invigorating.  Lovely.  I will be working with Krista, who turned out to have been the room mate of Katrina, who was the Work Study in my office last year, so that was nice!  Today Krista introduced me to The Reformer, The Cadillac, The Short Bench, The Mat and, of course, The Ladder and Barrel.  I think that's what it was all called anyway, I may have got some of those wrong.

Each of the five classes is an hour, and, whilst I was never out of breath today, I could certainly feel my muscles working.  At one point I was "running" whilst lying on The Reformer (it's a sliding platform with springs on it and stuff.  It's really simple, but fiendishly clever looking) and Kirsta pointed out that I could actually see why my running style was bad for my knees - They were wobbling about all over the place!  Once I'd seen that it was very easy to correct it if I just thought about it properly.

When I left the studio to go and meet Doc, I honestly felt as though I was about two inches taller and my spine felt really long and strong.  I've also signed up for five group mat classes, so I'll start those on Monday and Doc is going to sign up too, because I think this would be fabulous for his back.

Cat Update

First of all here are Asha and Vahti, for their peeps in the city.  I forgot my camera so this was taken with my phone. 

Umm... Yeah... So....

As you can see both of them are very well!  And fascinated by thin air!

As for our pair, the experiment of shutting Edith in the bathroom last night worked quite well.  Edith used her litter tray like a good girl, and only half destroyed the door.

Nancy was ecstatic to have us all to herself all night, but she was not so happy when I let Edith back at this morning.  Nancy looked at me with an expression on her face that clearly said "What the HELL are you doing Human Female? It was so much more peaceful without that floofy bitch around the place!"

Edith promptly proved the point by burning off all her excess energy chasing Nancy, so much so that Nancy actually pooed herself a little bit.  I suspect I would make a terrible crazy cat lady, because I just couldn't stop giggling when Doc called me to tell me that.

V&A.

I mentioned on Sunday that we are cat sitting for Vahti and Asha whilst their humans are off gallivanting round NYC.

I can report that our charges are adorable, pee where they are supposed to and are in all ways delightful.

The Ultimate Battle: Man Versus Cat.

At the moment there is a real clash of wills between Edith and Doc C.  I would find it funny watching my highly intelligent husband locking horns with our charmingly fluffy moggy, where it not for the fact that she is devilishly clever at pushing his buttons and he's getting really frustrated.

• If there is anything that Doc particularly doesn't want the cats to touch, you can guarantee that Edith will find it and roll all over it (Doc's seedlings were by far the most comfortable things Edith could find to sleep on). 
• Edith leaves long strands of fur everywhere, and seems to be able to shed at will.
• If Doc has a glass of water on his bedside table, Edith will drink out of it.
• Edith demands attention at really bad times; such as at 4:30 in the morning when Doc was sleeping soundly.
• The number one thing about Edith that Doc has had more than enough of is Edith's peeing in the hallway, and he's not even the one who has to clean it up!  

So what are we going to do about this?

Well, based on my extensive research, we have a four pronged plan of attack.

1. Edith is probably trying to get more attention, that's just basic behavioural psychology, so I'm going to make an effort to play with her more.
2. The peeing in the hall started when bloody Cairo sprayed the front door, so we can safely assume that our Edith is also feeling territorial.Front door cleaned with Natures Miracle to completely destroy any lingering smell from Cairo, and then thoroughly scrubbed with lemon juice to repel unwanted feline visitors.
3. Our cats are now not allowed in the front room, so that Edith can't look out of the window to see Cairo lording it up in our flowerbeds.
4. As Edith is clever enough to wait to pee until we go to sleep, or leave the house, we will start shutting Edith in the bathroom with food, water and a litter tray at night and when we are not in the house.  (This one may sound drastic, but it's only a temporary measure and Doc is usually at home during the day over the summer and so it really won't be all day.)

If none of that works, I'll have to send them to couple's counselling, because, damn it, those two kids are crazy about each other and you'd have to be blind not to see it.

Longfellow Bridge.

I promise I've nearly finished posting pictures from Boston, but where are at least at the arty looking ones like this one of rusted ironwork on Longfellow Bridge.

Time's Winged Chariot.

I remember as a kid that time really seemed to drag, so a week was a long time, a month was ages and a year was just a mind-bogglingly vast amount of time.  My Mum told me that when you were a grown up time seemed to zip by, and at that age I couldn't imagine how on earth that would ever be the case.

Now?  Ohmigod!  Stop the ride I want to get off!

It's just ridiculous, how quickly this year is going.  How can it possibly be June already?  I used to work or study full time, read at least a book a week, watch several films, keep serious track of three soap operas and still have time to go out dancing.  Did I never sleep?  How on earth was that possible?

And somehow I'm hoping to fit in an English MA, so I've got to really scrutinise every hour of my week to see where I can possibly fit in, you know, breathing and stuff.

Mountain Laurel.

The bush outside our front door turned out not to be an Iced Gem Plant, but a Mountain Laurel.

This is somewhat ironic, because last month I spent quite a bit of time in the office calling all of the local florists to find Mountain Laurel for our graduation ceremony and no body had any.

Of course, ours hadn't come into bloom at that point, but still!  I'm glad to know what it was that I was looking for.

The Force is Strong with Threadless.

This T is on my way to me now!  Or will be in the morning, anyway!

Not only is this my very first "Star Wars" T-shirt, but I love how happy Princess Leia looks, and the long suffering expression on Chewbacca's face under those rollers.

"Peel Me A Grape Human!"

Today has been entirely dictated by animals.  Our first stop of the day was Lowe's to buy a new hummingbird feeder and some nectar.  Whilst we were there I also perused the cleaning equipment aisle...

At the Humane Society we walked three gorgeous dogs; Bea, Snoop and Speckles, who were all incredibly friendly dogs with sad histories.  Sometimes it's better to walk the dogs without knowing the details, because some people do not deserve a pet of any sort frankly.  We also saw Nicole, and had a chat with her about how our cats had behaved when she was cat sitting for us.  She said they had been really good, but that she noticed that Cairo had sprayed our front door and that was when Edith started peeing in the hallway.  Ohhh!  That makes more sense now!  Edith's trying to warn Cairo off, but in a really stinky way!

When we got home I set up the new birdfeeders, but so far we haven't had any customers.  Sigh.

After lunch we headed over to our friends Randy and Laura's house to check in on their cats whilst they are away.  Asha and Varti were both absolutely fine!  So we played with them for a bit, before coming home to our girls.

Before dinner I got out my cleaning stuff, and went to work in our downstairs bathroom.  The floor has lovely white tiles on the floor, but they are tiny and there is SO much grouting that I just can never seem to get totally clean.  This is where the cats' litter trays are, so it's particularly important that I get the floor totally clean.  My new tool from Lowe's was a grout brush to scrub with, so I took that into the bathroom with my new secret weapons: a lemon and a packet of baking soda!  I got down on my hands and knees to scrub the hell out of that floor, and I was very pleased with how it scrubbed up.  I even got out the ultra violet light to make sure this had worked.  It totally did!  Yay!

So we've been at the beck and call of various creatures all day, I am exhausted now.

Saturday Night at the Movies.

So it turned out Doc had never seen Tim Burton's "Sleepy Hollow" (1999). I know.   

Netflix shipped it to us earlier this week, and we'll probably watch either that or "No Country for Old Men" (2007) tonight.  Depending on whether Doc once to be amusingly grossed out, or seriously depressed before we go to bed.